Natural Freedom

Forum for the natural awakening and self-realization of men
It is currently Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:24 pm

All times are UTC+01:00




Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Opening up
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:54 am 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:08 pm
Posts: 3002
Location: UK
spaceman wrote:
If a woman isn't attracted to me that's fine, however I feel like I'm inadvertently pushing women away who are attracted to me. For instance, at a coffee shop I go to maybe once a week there is a barista who I feel attraction for and we seemed to have a connection when I'd go there, however I never said much to her.
In that moment, rather than hiding away from her metaphorically, look at her for a moment with a curious thought, wonder about her.

Then ask her how she is, how her day is going or about something you have noticed about her, something you are curious about.
spaceman wrote:
A few minutes after leaving while driving away in my car I'd feel a warm vibrating feeling in the center of my chest. The past two times I've gone there I feel like she is closed off and feels hurt because I haven't attempted to talk to her even though there is a connection between us.
Do you believe your thoughts are incorrect?

If they are correct, what will you do next time to remedy this?
(If they are correct, are you hurting her more by not talking to her? hmmm, think about that one for a while :) )

How hard is it to ask her something and give her an opening to speak if she wants to?

If she does not want to she does not have to, you are not dragging her into a conversation but you are giving her a chance to have one if she wants.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Opening up
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:14 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:11 pm
Posts: 83
I've been there, I also believed I was very shy, in the past. Now I'm only certain about having had that belief, and making it a problem because of another belief I had, saying that being shy was bad for my relationships with women :lol:

I recommend you that you get into a state of no-tagging, no-judgment, where you're observing your feelings and actions, without putting any tag to them. In that state, you'll realize there's no shyness anymore, there's just feelings, stimulus, reactions, ... all connected, not separate. The more you stay there, the more you're going to accept and eventually enjoy all you observe, that's how I've managed sometimes to be comfortable with my uncomfortability, and all negative things are temporary in that state (well, in fact everything is temporary, good things too).

You can have feelings similar to what your mind would call shyness, and yet be okay with them; you can blush, and yet be okay, and even in awe of the energy in there; you might be out of words, and still be amazed of that feeling. Observe your thoughts too, including your worries, and accept everything. You'll be amazed how little meaning those things you believed as negative really have.

You can push yourself a little so you can experience those things, so you can go to just say hi and stay close to a woman when you feel afraid/intimidated/freezed/shy about her, so you're able to observer yourself in that situation. It's okay to use women for things like that ;) Oh, I hope you're not too attached to those 'negative' feelings in you, since you're going to lose them as you observe.

Good luck, and a good pair of balls :mrgreen:

_________________
Let the angel that you are embrace with love and tame the demon that you are, and let the demon that you are kick your angel's ass, so he awakens.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Opening up
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:56 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:11 pm
Posts: 83
This might help you too:

Tonight I learned that women don't mind when I'm afraid of them, at least when I'm in the moment accepting my fear, no matter if it disappears or stays. It's my rejection of my 'bad' feeling what causes them to close themselves, reject me or go away. So I don't need to not feel fear towards women to properly relate to them, I just need to be okay with the fear, or whatever I feel (even if it's nothing), and stay open anyway, projecting that feeling.

It happened that I felt like talking with two women, usually tagged as "hot" by most guys around the globe, and I did... but from the beginning was feeling some tension, some fear. Well, I was accepting the feeling and the energy to act, and acted... And it shocked me there was no move of rejection from them! A part of me wanted them that they went away, so my fear disappeared, but they didn't :D They stayed there, as I let the part of me that felt like staying there deeply feeling the fear, guide my action. They were very close to me, and didn't move a step, no matter my fear got stronger and I was even shaking, lol. I wasn't believing my own beliefs :lol:

_________________
Let the angel that you are embrace with love and tame the demon that you are, and let the demon that you are kick your angel's ass, so he awakens.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Opening up
PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:47 pm 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:08 pm
Posts: 3002
Location: UK
Morgul wrote:
Tonight I learned that women don't mind when I'm afraid of them, at least when I'm in the moment accepting my fear, no matter if it disappears or stays. It's my rejection of my 'bad' feeling what causes them to close themselves, reject me or go away. So I don't need to not feel fear towards women to properly relate to them, I just need to be okay with the fear, or whatever I feel (even if it's nothing), and stay open anyway, projecting that feeling.
You were being authentic and true, rather than hiding your emotions and feelings.

They I am sure would say : He was being honest with us.

More than that, you were present with your own feeling and emotions.

Bravo!

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Opening up
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 3:13 am 
Hi Guys,

This is just a quick note to say hang in there with me. I've got a lot going on this week, but I intend to get to the questions in my section this weekend. I'm planning to start answering them via video and posting them here and on YouTube so they will be available to even more of you guys.

Thanks for your patience!

love & blessings,
gina


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC+01:00


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to: 

cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited