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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:31 pm 
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Hello folks,
I read the Great Female Con and I quite frankly find myself in a situation where a chick I feel (my ego), she is playing games. Sorry for not using the terminology of that book but it relates to what in the book says: the punishment/reward tactics and the major problem described in the book, having the ego in check...(the situation of the chick who have gone to take a drink and start flirting with two guys and the husband come back, give her couple of bucks for taxi because he was leaving.)

Here is the situation:
me and a female should meet at that time in that place, she didn't show up but later she send me a text that she was sorry because she didn't feel well the night before and she just woke up (an hour later the time we should meet).

Now, I see that text (like 5 hours later) and answered to that text with ok, no problem and that I will be free tomorrow after x time so we can meet.

My ego, what you call, the little devil suggest me that she was lying, that was an excuse, but since I am in this forum and not to be upset of things I can't control here is the question:

Was my answer the right one to write?
If she do that again or not don't suggest an alternative, what should I do "in concrete"? (if I dont answer she could have the excuse of saying "he is butthurt", if I answer I should do in a way that is polite so she could not have the excuse of saying "oh look he is upset now, I got him").

Thank you in advance, I'm waiting for your answers.
PimpDee.

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:59 pm 
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My personal view - Responding is ok, since she at least managed to text you

I would offer her another date after some time maybe, not right away. I've done something that you've done and it was a mistake. Not sure if it is in your case

If she does that again and if she is not showing interest to meet you, I would let go. Stop reaching etc. Some things are not meant to be and you should not force it.

For comparison, I asked a girl 4 times in a row out, said she is sorry but she can't make it out (4th one was really last-time cancel), but between these askings she reached out to me and showed interest, so I was reciprocating, even when she couldn't make it to any dates (I Like her a lot too). The 5th time she offered a date, so I accepted and we met, she was very happy to see me.
I don't think this is the case with the girl you are talking about here, but this is also for you to decide according to what is happening


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 5:52 pm 
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fufe wrote:
For comparison, I asked a girl 4 times in a row out, said she is sorry but she can't make it out (4th one was really last-time cancel), but between these askings she reached out to me and showed interest, so I was reciprocating, even when she couldn't make it to any dates (I Like her a lot too). The 5th time she offered a date, so I accepted and we met, she was very happy to see me. I don't think this is the case with the girl you are talking about here, but this is also for you to decide according to what is happening


If 3rd one was really last-time cancel then 4th time she would have offered a date.

If 5th one was really last-time cancel then the handbag would be too cheap so no buy if you know what I mean.

(I Like her a lot too)

Alchemist wrote:
You're getting emotionally invested, check yourself real quick son.
dont think this " between these askings she reached out to me and showed interest" means anything.



If she wants to meet you then she will make arrangements. Don`t make offer after offer has been refused. Whatever the case may be that says something about who you are. Stop prioritizing her view point then you will look better in it.

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We go away to find home, we make acquaintances to understand friends, we converse in order to enrich our conversation with ourselves. - Michael Oakeshott


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:41 pm 
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Well up to now she didnt answer to that text (to see each other tomorrow). If she doesnt answer, I will make busy that time slot (not even a text from me).. if she answers but she will not be there, means that excuse of not feeling good was a lie and she is full of shit (and she will never see me again).

edit: She texted me now with the hour. If she will not show up, I will use indifference.

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:49 am 
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Pindar wrote:
fufe wrote:
For comparison, I asked a girl 4 times in a row out, said she is sorry but she can't make it out (4th one was really last-time cancel), but between these askings she reached out to me and showed interest, so I was reciprocating, even when she couldn't make it to any dates (I Like her a lot too). The 5th time she offered a date, so I accepted and we met, she was very happy to see me. I don't think this is the case with the girl you are talking about here, but this is also for you to decide according to what is happening


If 3rd one was really last-time cancel then 4th time she would have offered a date.

If 5th one was really last-time cancel then the handbag would be too cheap so no buy if you know what I mean.

(I Like her a lot too)

Alchemist wrote:
You're getting emotionally invested, check yourself real quick son.
dont think this " between these askings she reached out to me and showed interest" means anything.



If she wants to meet you then she will make arrangements. Don`t make offer after offer has been refused. Whatever the case may be that says something about who you are. Stop prioritizing her view point then you will look better in it.


I think you're reading too much into what he's saying. Also, I can recall doing something similar to this too and it panned out well. I can also recall many times when it didn't. I can also recall many many times when I just cut contact and got nowhere after a woman cancels once or twice. Many things happen and there are no certain perfect actions. It is very gut dependent. All I know is that if a woman is reaching out to me and carrying her part then I'm participating, especially if she is apologizing. It is dependent on her apology though and what my gut tells me.

I'm not going to be that staunch. I personally think you're projecting onto him to say something like that says a lot about who you are. I do different things with every woman now and don't have some set blueprint.

I'm also not buying the handbag man. I'm selling the handbag if you catch my drift and in sales you should always be moving on something. You don't know how many women he had in his pipeline that are interested in him.

The fact that they even initially agreed to see him says a lot about him. Women don't do that for every guy or even a lot of guys. Just my take though.

PimpDee wrote:
Hello folks,
I read the Great Female Con and I quite frankly find myself in a situation where a chick I feel (my ego), she is playing games. Sorry for not using the terminology of that book but it relates to what in the book says: the punishment/reward tactics and the major problem described in the book, having the ego in check...(the situation of the chick who have gone to take a drink and start flirting with two guys and the husband come back, give her couple of bucks for taxi because he was leaving.)

Here is the situation:
me and a female should meet at that time in that place, she didn't show up but later she send me a text that she was sorry because she didn't feel well the night before and she just woke up (an hour later the time we should meet).

Now, I see that text (like 5 hours later) and answered to that text with ok, no problem and that I will be free tomorrow after x time so we can meet.

My ego, what you call, the little devil suggest me that she was lying, that was an excuse, but since I am in this forum and not to be upset of things I can't control here is the question:

Was my answer the right one to write?
If she do that again or not don't suggest an alternative, what should I do "in concrete"? (if I dont answer she could have the excuse of saying "he is butthurt", if I answer I should do in a way that is polite so she could not have the excuse of saying "oh look he is upset now, I got him").

Thank you in advance, I'm waiting for your answers.
PimpDee.


Read my post about how to get past square one. It will serve you well if you want to do this the hard way. Just go out a bunch and look for the glitches. It's easy because you will get a few lays. You won't be the real deal though until you get the wanting to get laid out of your system.

The amount of effort you put into observation without consciously thinking about it is correlated to your effectiveness (too much thinking = in your head). It's an exercise in looking at the big picture. To get laid all you have to do are look for the right signs. It's not about the quantity. It's about the effort you put in and learning to trust your gut.

To be the real deal all you have to do is know who you are and lead. You are not leading. If this task of getting laid is consuming you then read my post and keep going out until the new year. If you focus, dial in on your gut, look for the glitches, and try not to think too much you'll get there.

Edit: also reading many books about "the matrix" won't get you past square one. What good is seeing it if you can't do anything in it?

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 4:36 am 
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I couldnt edit this message so I will do it here. My gut told me that saying with "ok, no problem and that I will be free tomorrow after x time so we can meet" was an incomplete message. So i texted in the evening "so? what time we can meet tomorrow morning? x hour? y hour?" she answer back saying "at y will be fine :)". Sympish? Should I wait to get the ball hitted back? could be, I will write you about it tomorrow.
PimpDee wrote:
Well up to now she didnt answer to that text (to see each other tomorrow). If she doesnt answer, I will make busy that time slot (not even a text from me).. if she answers but she will not be there, means that excuse of not feeling good was a lie and she is full of shit (and she will never see me again).

edit: She texted me now with the hour. If she will not show up, I will use indifference.

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 5:29 am 
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Slim Titan wrote:
Read my post about how to get past square one. It will serve you well if you want to do this the hard way. Just go out a bunch and look for the glitches. It's easy because you will get a few lays. You won't be the real deal though until you get the wanting to get laid out of your system.

The amount of effort you put into observation without consciously thinking about it is correlated to your effectiveness (too much thinking = in your head). It's an exercise in looking at the big picture. To get laid all you have to do are look for the right signs. It's not about the quantity. It's about the effort you put in and learning to trust your gut.

To be the real deal all you have to do is know who you are and lead. You are not leading. If this task of getting laid is consuming you then read my post and keep going out until the new year. If you focus, dial in on your gut, look for the glitches, and try not to think too much you'll get there.

Edit: also reading many books about "the matrix" won't get you past square one. What good is seeing it if you can't do anything in it?

Hey slim, I red your post and I think I was the guy who sent you the pm.
Anyway, what I want to ask you is this: what you "in concrete" you do in the bar? how long you stay there? you sit on the chair looking in front of you at your soda, you look around, you act like you wait somebody?

Let me tell you, I was never interested in getting laid with an older woman like a 40, 50 years old (I am 30 from couple of weeks). Maybe because I am 4 weeks no fap, whatever, I dont go to the bar and as you I dont have a car, but when I walk or go in to my favourite place at the beach, walking couple of kilometers, there is always an old woman who is jocking. When I walk, lets say there is a bunch of people coming from the other direction, there is always a woman, most of the time, who after looking at me and I look at her, she bites her lips, looking down..or if she doesnt bite lips, if I pass close to her, she start playing with her hairs.
Last one was a Mom with 2 kids enjoying the place when I come to my place, that I use for relax/reading/watching this forum, she was looking at me (it was a very beautiful day, warm), she has an general attitude like we know each other from a long time (she has a nice figure I mean maybe a bit overweight but big titties), we chat a bit but I didnt go further cause I was writing to a chick, her general attitude was "submissive" even how she shaked her hand.

Its weird cause I dont have the jocking from girl from 20s to 30s...and my look, how I dress (jacket, hoodie sweatshirt, white sneackers, sport trousers, no red shoes no turn-ups/cuffs tight jeans are so popular today with the people between 15 to 30 and even more) is like the guy you have in your avatar (with sunglasses couple of times I was mistaken, no joke here, for a wiseguy).

edit: the only book I read full about matrix is the great female con, i just started with the manipulated man. Like in matrix, morpheus said to neo in the training "remember that matrix follow the rules...some rules can be ignored some others can be used against them".

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:25 am 
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Slim Titan wrote:
The fact that they even initially agreed to see him says a lot about him. Women don't do that for every guy or even a lot of guys. Just my take though.
Have you heard of the cock carousel. Not one cock on the carousel is in anyway a special snowflake, not one. Pimpdee is literally trying to be a cock on that carousel. Women DO do that for lots of guys and they will do it for LOTS and LOTS of guys.
Stop idealising women.

Dont you think it makes him seeem desprate. One of the primary messages of this forum is NOT TO CHASE. I REPEAT NOT TO CHASE. IF YOU OR ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN HERE FOR YEARS IS SAYING OTHERWISE THEN YOU NEED TO STOP PROJECTING. NOT ME. Now look what Pimpdee has gone and done....

If this girl was going to meet him anyway did he really need to do this.
PimpDee wrote:
I couldnt edit this message so I will do it here. My gut told me that saying with "ok, no problem and that I will be free tomorrow after x time so we can meet" was an incomplete message. So i texted in the evening "so? what time we can meet tomorrow morning? x hour? y hour?" she answer back saying "at y will be fine :)


Every time I go on here there is a post from pimpdee about chasing women. Every single time chase chase chase chase. This time last year I couldn't smoke a cigarette without being addicted so I STOPED IT. I CUT IT OUT. I did not tell myself about all the potential ways in which glitches could occur that would allow me to smoke one. I just stopped it.

Maybe now, after a year has gone by, I might have cigar on my birthday. But I wasn`t telling myself about how I was going to smoke in future when I needed to quit. People who wanted me to quit didn`t tell me about it either. I cut it out.

Slim Titan wrote:
I'm also not buying the handbag man.
You misread what I wrote.

Slim Titan wrote:
You don't know how many women he had in his pipeline that are interested in him.
Then what is the problem? Why is he here? Everyone loves an admirer. I`m guessing that they wont commit.

Fufe`s own words...
fufe wrote:
My personal view - Responding is ok, since she at least managed to text you..........I don't think this is the case with the girl you are talking about here,[/b]


Do they not seem a little confusing to you? Some one is projecting methinks !!!!!!

Why say anything if "I don't think this is the case with the girl you are talking about here". Then how would it help Pimpdee? Fufe has admitted in his first post that 90% of what he wrote is the opposite to what Pimpdee needs to hear. And what does Pimpdee need to hear from you guys? ... STOP CHASING!!

Why did Fufe do this? Because Fufe needs help and advice methinks.

Asking a girl out 4 times and her saying yes on the fifth is NOT a glitch in the matrix. For it to be a Glitch in the matrix then she would have to be the prize and if she if the prize then its not a glitch in the matrix. But wait a minute, doesn`t asking a girl out 4 times and her saying yes on the fifth resemble a Hollywood plot line that has been regurgitate over and over again. This sounds suspicious to me. Wait a minute, wait a minute, doesn`t it sound suspiciously like the method by which EVERY average joe thinks he should purse woman. Methinks so.

She knew you wanted to see her after the first time. She knew you wanted to see her MORE after the second time. She knew you wanted to see her EVEN MORE after the third time. She knew you wanted to see her MORE AND MORE AND MORE after the fourth time. She could have made an offer ANYTIME. After the first time why not just wait SHE MAKES THE OFFER. Sounds reasonable to me. Sounds like something a normal human being would do.

But then again, maybe, just maybe, you could wait for her to ask you out the first time. That`s the message I was getting from this forum when I first arrived here. Sounds much more like a glitch in the matrix to me. It concurs with what I knew before and was one of the reasons iv`e stuck around here.

Getting a girlfriend, getting your dick wet, is not a glitch in the matrix. In no way.

"I personally think you're projecting onto him to say something like that says a lot about who you are." Really?

"if a woman is reaching out to me and carrying her part then I'm participating, especially if she is apologizing" Yeah sure. IF HER APOLOGY INVOLVES AN OFFER TO MEET.

"I can recall doing something similar to this too and it panned out well." What do you mean "panned out well" do you mean simply that you got your dick wet from being desperate? Do these stories offer a reason why she didn`t offer to meet you after the first, second or third time you asked her?

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We go away to find home, we make acquaintances to understand friends, we converse in order to enrich our conversation with ourselves. - Michael Oakeshott


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:43 am 
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I actually wanted to tell him, that most of this depends on gut feelings in the moment, but didn't say it there - Slim Titan actually said it, which is cool

You are way too dramatic Pindar. You should have seen the look in her eyes when we met. You wouldn't have post the shit you have posted.

I hope what you are doing is working for you. Seems like you think you are the only one who is right here.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:06 am 
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fufe wrote:
I actually wanted to tell him, that most of this depends on gut feelings in the moment, but didn't say it there - Slim Titan actually said it, which is cool

You are way too dramatic Pindar. You should have seen the look in her eyes when we met. You wouldn't have post the shit you have posted.

I hope what you are doing is working for you. Seems like you think you are the only one who is right here.


"You are way too dramatic Pindar." This is a fair criticism. I dont use a smart phone and wanted to get a lot of information down before I leave/ start the day.

"You should have seen the look in her eyes when we met. You wouldn't have post the shit you have posted." Why does Pimpdee need to hear about this? Do you think it will help him. What is the point in saying anything if it all just comes down to gut instinct. Because he needs to develop a healthy gut.

"You should have seen the look in her eyes when we met. You wouldn't have post the shit you have posted." Do you think that my heart has never melted like butter? Do you think your experience is unique to mankind? That sounds arrogant to me. How does this help pimpdee??? You said you dont think it applies. It does seem like you are using his situation to pronounce your love toward your oneitis and defend it.

I got this in my inbox this very morning and it may be helpful. I haven`t had a chance to read it yet myself though:


Disassembling ONEitis
by Rollo Tomassi

...

It was on the TRP subredd that I came across this post from The_Bitter_Truth. It gels pretty well with what I've been developing over last week so I thought I'd riff on it for a bit.

"Recently I met my perfect 10. I was mesmerized by her beauty - I actually froze up in front of her during the middle of our first conversation (not typical of me). I am currently, and was at the time when we met, spinning plates (including my ONEitis), but for some reason I idolized this girl. Somewhere inside of me decided I had to have this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I fooled myself into thinking she was different, and I put her on a pedestal."

The 'special little snowflake' concept is a very old Red Pill cliché, but sometimes it's worth returning to why these came about. One thing Blue Pill conditioning does for boys who will later become men is that, by default, it puts the feminine as the highest priority men need to have for their lives. One reason I stress men becoming their own mental point of origin is because they are taught from a very early age to replace their own imperatives as their first thought with those of women; in other words to pedestalize the feminine. They are conditioned to seek feminine approval, and in so doing, the reward that this approval represents becomes the gender-correct context through which boys and Blue Pill men are taught to filter their social interactions through.

Because the feminine is the 'correct' context in which men are raised, the natural, deductive, response with regard to intimacy is to place girls and women on the proverbial pedestal. I mentioned this dynamic a couple of posts ago, but the pedestal Blue Pill men refer to is a personal part of a much larger social pedestal upon which men are taught to put women on socially. The larger whole of Blue Pill conditioned society will later blame this pedestalization on individual men – being told their insecurities are due to their own deficits, a lack of confidence or a belief in themselves – when in fact they were raised and conditioned by a feminine-primary social order to default to this pedestalization. This default deference to pedestalizing women may indeed be something men must overcome in the long term scope of their lives, but make no mistake, it starts from a feminine-centric, feminine-correct upbringing.

Even for guys employing Game and dating non-exclusively, there at some point comes a 'special' One girl that embodies a deeply held Blue Pill idealism about the 'perfect girl' for him. Usually this girl meets the criteria for what he considers his 'Genetic Celebrity', but as men mature they tend to modify this ideal based on what their conditioning has taught them qualifies as a 'Quality Woman'.

This occurrence is always a test for men who are Red Pill aware. Men's own innate idealism is focused on outward possibilities; the hope for what can be. The problem is that this male idealism has always been a useful thumbscrew in conditioning men to accept a necessary deference to women, and this comes at a price.

Two Sides of ONEitis

One of two things generally happen for the Blue Pill guy who gets his wish and achieves intimacy with his ONEitis girl. He either defaults to supplication with her, or his ONEitis idealization of her is dispelled, and she and womankind are brought back down to earth to mingle with the mere mortals. It's important to really understand what ONEitis really is; an unhealthy attachment to an idealization. A lot of guys make the mistake of believing that if they're "really in love" with their ONEitis everything is OK, but the fact is that guys wrapped up in ONEitis are committed to the belief in their idealized Dream Girl.

On the third date with my ONEitis we made dinner at my place, we watched a movie together, and we fucked for the first time. For the first time in a long time I was actually anxious (maybe even excited?) about having sex, as I had been idolizing and fantasizing over this girl for some time. Even though I was anxious I didn't spill my beans and kept my cool, and gave her a fuck she'll be hard pressed to forget - but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her: The sex isn't that great and neither is she. At this point she's no different than any other girl I've put into my bed who's spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her. It doesn't make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.

In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities. In my mind I had painted her out to be this perfect angel - but that couldn't be further from the truth. She was so attractive to me because she seemed out of reach, but now that I've had a taste I know it's nothing special.

This is a good example of having the ONEitis ideal disillusioned for a guy. When PUA gurus tell you to think of a hot girl like she's just another girl that mental state comes from replicating this disillusionment. Roissy had an excellent maxim in The 16 Commandments of Poon about this:

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire.…

Roissy even goes on to suggest guys stop using terms like 'hot' or 'cute' when referring to women (as well as to avoid complimenting women on their looks if you're not sleeping with her) in order to put your head out of the conditioning that led to your idealization of what will become a ONEitis woman. Again, the idea is to come to the disillusionment state Bitter Truth is outlining here before you make an approach and before you move into any possibility of becoming monogamous with a girl who's representative of an idealization.

Another way I was misleading myself is that I was using my ONEitis for validation - "If I can fuck this 10 then obviously I'm the perfect chad that I've always wanted to become." I was looking for acceptance through someone else's eyes, but when I finally got it - it didn't change who I was as a person. Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person.

I've covered the idea of men using sex for validation before, so I wont belabor it now. However, I will add that it is part of Blue Pill conditioning's goal that men internalize the idea that their sexual imperative is inherently bad and, by a feminine-primary context, incorrect. Part of making men believe this is inculcating the idea that men seek to build their egos and their status up by having sex in popular culture. Part of this comes from the goal-centered nature of men being the sexual performers for women's acceptance – further reinforced in a fem-centric social order – but beyond this, the sex-for-affirmation narrative is meant to diminish the legitimacy of men's sexual strategies in favor of women's socially correct sexual strategy (Hypergamy).

I hear and read even well-meaning Red Pill men who still promote this idea while tossing out "atta girls" for women aping men's sexual imperatives themselves. The giveaway here is in Bitter Truth's referring to his not 'feeling like a better person' for having banged his Dream Girl. His anticipation was that he would 'be a better person' for having been approved for, and consolidating on, sex with his ONEitis. Again, this comes back to the disillusionment I mention above, but it's also the result of his being conditioned to believe that 'all men have sex to build their egos, their status, and feel good about themselves'.

Feminine-primary society seeks to diminish men's sexual agency, and the primary way of doing this is to turn it into a pathology. We see this all the time with regards to how feminism and the Feminine Imperative obfuscate and redefine conventional masculinity to fit its convenience. But with regards to men's sexual imperatives, their strategy must be made a sickness or an ego flaw when they pursue it.

I've read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They're usually written about the girl we can't have, or the girl that's out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can't have them. Sometimes if we never see what she's like up close, we'll never be able to see through our ONEitis tinted lenses we're viewing her with. She is just another girl. She's not perfect, I just refused to see her as she really is. The only thing special about her is her looks - and she really doesn't bring anything into my life except another hole to fill. The morning after her phone was blown up with messages from beta orbiters telling her good morning and asking her how her night was (great thanks to me, and thanks for asking). These guys were idolizing her the same way I was by putting this girl on a pedestal and refusing to see her as an equal (or less). They're wasting their time. They don't really know this girl, they just want the fantasy figure they've painted inside their minds.

This is a good observation, but the thing is that this 'celebrity' Dream Girl isn't something they've painted in their heads of their own volition. Women's Beta Orbiters are a persistent fact over generations now because it's what they've been bred and raised to be. To be sure, most willingly create their own idealizations, but the seed is already there for them to water.

There's an interesting paradox about this disillusionment. On one hand there is a certain emotional satisfaction that comes from believing in that Dream Girl ideal. It's what inspires men to achievement, self-improvement and many great creative endeavors. But the idealization can become a trap. It becomes a comfort to believe in that Blue Pill Disney-wishes-can-come-true fantasy, and that fantasy transforms into a sweet vindication when a Blue Pill guy finally gets his Dream Girl. At that point his investment in that ideal girl is just as important as his capacity to sustain that relationship in a Blue Pill context.

These are the guys who get gobsmacked when their Dream Girl leaves them once they've determined that he's not the Alpha dominant guy he's sold himself as. Now, not only is he dealing with losing "the best girl he's ever gotten", he's also confronting the truth that his Blue Pill conditioning and the ideals it's bred into him have been false and a source of his own self-deception. Losing that ONEitis girl is compounded by his losing faith in his Blue Pill world.

So if you have a ONEitis you're fantasizing over right now, take a quick moment and consider that she's just a normal girl with above average looks (or just really good at putting on makeup). She has flaws and imperfections - you just haven't known her long enough for them to come out, or you're refusing to see them. Literally the only reason I wanted this girl was because of something that was completely irrelevant to who she is as a person - good genetics. She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl. She's not perfect and makes dumb choices. She's just looking for her Chad - just like every other girl. "We see the world (girl), not as it (she) is, but as we are."

Edit: I would like to stress the importance of spinning plates and having options. It has helped me greatly. Not only for the abundance mentality, but being able to compare her to my other plates has helped me put things into perspective - but having plates didn't prevent me from developing ONEitis in this circumstance.

I did a fun post a while back called Show and Tell where I compared the pictures of made up and non-made up porn stars to illustrate the fantasy image men hold with the real-life 'smell her farts' reality of women. Most Blue Pill men will tell you that their idealizations are about the girl underneath all the make up. This is the idealization they are taught to believe is acceptable for women because it absolves women of having to qualify in any way for men's sexually strategic approval. Holding standards for a woman's looks, her weight or how she presents herself will always be conflated with sexual objectification of women. But when a Blue Pill guy finds his Unicorn she almost always qualifies for that status because of "who she really is".

While it's all well and good to keep a realistic perspective of a woman's presentation, part of Blue Pill conditioning is promoting the idea that the women men ought to pedestalize should base that idealization on intrinsic rather than extrinsic factors. You will find that some of the most pathetic guys with ONEitis will often pine over some of the least physically attractive women. I've stood in wonderment over the weeping and gnashing of teeth Blue Pill guys will display over women whom they exceed in SMV by as much as 2 points.

That's the 'real' ONEitis; when a guy who you know could easily do leagues better than his ONEitis girlfriend in the SMP is bawling over her, head in hands, because she's his 'One'. Looking at this from the outside we think 'what the fuck man?' and try to deductively reason with him about how much better he can do, but what we don't wrap our heads around is that this guy was conditioned since his earliest years to believe that his 'snowflake' is unique in her intrinsic qualities.

Yes, there are guys who blow themselves up over HB 9s that they fantasize over obsessively, but for the vast majority of men (that is to say the Beta 80% of them) this fantasy remains just that, a fantasy. In fact, according to the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts most men reserve their sexual fantasies, and consciously limit their extent, for sexual encounters with women whom they believe are 'attainable' to them. This is one explanation for the rise in the popularity of amateur porn, but also, it's because most men want to fantasize over what they believe might be possible for them to actualize.

I would argue that for most guys with ONEitis this comes as a result of their comparing what they believe their SMV is with the grossly over-inflated SMV value most average women apply to themselves. On average, and with the aid of connectivity and social media, most women presume their SMV value is greatly above that of men. This perception them filters down to the average guy and now you can understand why guys believe that their much lower SMB girlfriends are "the best girl they'll ever get."

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:11 am 
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fufe wrote:
Seems like you think you are the only one who is right here.


No and I don`t know what the Kidd thinks for instance. But he did say this to Pimpdee back in November:

The Kidd!! wrote:
This woman is a complete waste of your time. You've been dancing to her tune the whole time...what incentive does she have to change? Reading this made me sleepy. :|



Do you not think i`m trying to help him?

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:12 am 
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I thought I was talking to you, not PimpDee in that message :D

I think, that you seem to be the only one who thinks his beliefs/experiences/opinions are the most right.. It seems to be persistent in your messages, and I don't mean this aqggresively


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:15 am 
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fufe wrote:
I thought I was talking to you, not PimpDee in that message :D
You were addressing me in your first message to Pimpdee? That was the one I was talking about.....

fufe wrote:
I don't mean this aqggresively


And yet....

fufe wrote:
You should have seen the look in her eyes when we met. You wouldn't have post the shit you have posted.
The shit??

fufe wrote:
Seems like you think you are the only one who is right here.
Hmmm??

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:26 am 
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@Pindar & @ Fufe

"Everything I say can be used against me."

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:33 am 
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I give up.. This dude just wants to brag as much as he feels he needs to :roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:40 am 
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Pindar, sorry to piss you off. You are right about not chasing women, but in my gut my first message was that I am too much "available" (saying that I am free after that x time) without thinking that I would be busy on other hours (that is true).

Now I think I am going to piss you off.

The fact that she has options is something that I cant control, young good looking girl...of course she has, but at the same time, what I do not understand is that these women hang out and fuck with somebody. No doubt about it…and it doesn`t mean that this guy or that guy are rich, it doesn`t mean he has shit together. Let`s face it.
What I dont understand is why I should fuck ugly and old women or even more wait.. jerking off, instead of trying to fuck these goofy young women...should I wait that her cunt is exploided so much from these bad boys that would look like two piece of liver, so she finally see how good guy I am? Who wants a used car with high mileage, only if to move from point A to point B?
You know what I used to do in the past, few years back...and I stopped to do? piss them off, teasing them, making fun of them and if she said she wants to hit me, or trying to scare me in someway or give me ultimatums, it meant she was hooked and then I let them wonder about me. That was my game.
Years ago, One girl invited me at a party the same day we met, and when I said to her kiss me, because I didnt kiss her in her lips but on cheecks, she didnt show up at that time, that day she suggested to. Two weeks later sent me a text to see at a party in her house, she was drunk and when I was talking to her, two minute conversation, she had the attitude to look at her phone, and stand up and walk to another guy (hugging him, putting her head on his shoulder), so I have a wine in my glass, cheers to her and said good luck. You know what happened? Spend the time with another broad and a message a week later to show up at another party. I didnt show up to her anymore...and maybe it was wrong to do so.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:59 am 
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PimpDee wrote:
Pindar, sorry to piss you off.
Really?

Do you know why the Christians sometimes represent the holy as a spider? Or why in Hindu and Mahayana Buddhist iconography among others, noble creatures are at times represented in a fierce or destructive aspect?

"The days that are still to come are the wisest witnesses." Pindar Olympian 1

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 12:17 pm 
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Pindar wrote:
PimpDee wrote:
Pindar, sorry to piss you off.
Really?

Do you know why the Christians sometimes represent the holy as a spider? Or why in Hindu and Mahayana Buddhist iconography among others, noble creatures are at times represented in a fierce or destructive aspect?

"The days that are still to come are the wisest witnesses." Pindar Olympian 1

Your reaction is yours, not mine and I dont see the correlation between spiders, religion, when I just share my opinion/my situation. You seem you want to help me, If I am wrong, explain me why I am wrong. Simple as that.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 12:35 pm 
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Live update: She called me like 10 minutes before the date and I didnt see the call, checked the phone, called her back few minutes after the hour we should met. She didnt pick up the phone.
She called me back now saying she had a problem. So I answer her that I left the place and I am busy now, she let me know when she want to met me, so I will tell her if I am free or not.

So now its time to indifference. Its up to her.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 1:04 pm 
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Quote:
I will use indifference


This is where you're making a big mistake - not even with her, just with your overall peace of mind. How can you use not giving a fuck as a weapon to achieve something you give a fuck about? Makes no sense.

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