Natural Freedom

Forum for the natural awakening and self-realization of men
It is currently Wed Oct 18, 2017 11:18 pm

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 6:00 am 
This post is a response to a pm I received. I was asked about getting women. To be honest, I'm not the best person to answer this. I don't have 9 women simultaneously. I haven't maintained a relationship longer than 6 months.

The only thing to my credit really is that I haven't been able to close possibly 9 women over this year. I think it's an important credential because I was invited over each time. The women really close their self though. However, not having a car slows things down to the point that you need an EXTRAORDINARY amount of patience. I'm on one month and 2 weeks right now for my fastest one, a woman saying she's going to come visit me right now. I'm on 8 months and 2 weeks for my slowest one.

I don't talk to any of them much and basically let them know that I'm around and kicking. I'll probably get four of the 9 and cut the rest off.

They all know that I'm only looking for friends so the contract is well established and loose enough that there isn't a huge ticking time bomb.

How do I have confirmation that this is important. Well two years ago I set aside my impatience for a solid 3 months and wala. The woman turned up on my door step three months later with her friend, but she had her baby in tow. I didn't want to wait another month for crying out loud to get her. Her friend was basically calling the shots too, which my ego didn't like.

I typed out a long response to the PM. All I really have to add is how to see how to get past the first step.

We really talk a lot about inner work and how it will solve things. We talk about how inner work is good for its own right, which it is. The one thing which everyone comes here struggling with is what they ironically never get right until much later in their journey.

This is my most earnest and best attempt at explaining in plain English what it takes to get laid. I'm ready for any feedback and hope that people will give better PRACTICAL responses.

I was asked what should be read to learn about women. I'm actually not suggesting that. At first I did in the PM. However, 90% of learning takes place by doing. I'm not going to tell you exactly what to do because every situation calls for a response tailored for that situation.

The Matrix:

We all know from the Matrix how things are so supposed to be. You have your limitations. You have the rules. There's one scene about the matrix that's particularly interesting. It's where the kid says," it's not the spoon that bends. It's you that bends."

This is important. You have to be more fluid. You have to flow like music. In fact, I'm going to give away the secret sauce early in the post and just shore up the edges to make sure everything is clear.

Step One: set aside your preconceptions of what is beautiful.

Realization: humans have different body types. Everyone starts somewhere.

Step Two: Observe, Observe, Observe then take it all in.

Realization: the more you are observing. The less your ego can get in your way. Observing the observer is best for inner work but not fucking.

Step three: look for the glitch.

Realization: whenever your awareness reaches a certain point of reach, you'll be able to see more things that stands out: contrived things, repeating things (groundhog day), things observing you.

Step four: explore the glitch

Realization: any time there is something that stands out in your awareness it is there for a reason.

I may not be getting this process entirely right. In fact, there really aren't steps, but you have to start somewhere. These are the steps to basically see the repeating nature and futility of "getting" women in the strongest sense. You'll get stuck at step one if you don't like black women, white women, Asian, Latina etc. You'll get stuck at step one if you don't like fat women skinny women etc.

It's good that you'll be stuck there so you can explore beauty standards. When you start to not give a fuck. You'll open your net wider.

Step one encompasses the entirety of the matrix.

I am not my ego

This part encompasses step two. You have to observe see how you're getting your own way. Basic observation of your environment is good enough to get you laid. You'll be stuck at this point for a long time if you can't get out of your head.

Getting out of your head is important, but if you struggle to get women it's going to be even harder for you to observe yourself in the moment and get out of your own way.

Haha, I'm not sure if I'm making sense here, but you have to be comfortable with genuinely observing your environment to get your awareness strong enough to see what you're doing too. It's kind of counter intuitive and is a different form of observing yourself for the purpose of inner work.

You need to be able to see when you're getting in your own way and catch yourself.

Experiment: go out to the bar five days in a row. DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL AT ALL. IF YOU DO DRINK THEN ONLY DRINK SODAs etc. This includes weekdays and weekends. Look to do this around a holiday too when bars are open. The day before Christmas is coming up.

This is kind of dark, but suicides and shitty feelings are high around this time. People have fights with their partners around this time. People want to find someone for the new year around this time. Don't wait until the new year though. You'll realize that you're late to the show.

If you're doing this right: on the fifth day you should notice a difference in your observation. It's really a muscle.

You'll notice that you see more. You may notice a woman looking at you. This is where observation just begins. If you're doing it right you should start to be able to tell when there are obstacles.

If you do try this experiment then you may just have a little variance go your way and be approached by a woman directly.

Otherwise your job is slightly harder and only slightly because if you're doing it right you should notice some repetitions, contrived situations, encroachments in your territory, and all around other glitches.

Looking for and Exploring the glitch:

There is no such thing as a perfect system. That's why some women approach you even though they never have to in order to get sex. This is where you come in.

I always thought the glitch in the Matrix was some phenomenal thing. I thought it was extraordinary and to a certain extent it is.

I'll list glitches for women in their most important order in bars with higher numbers being most important.

1. Approaching your vicinity they aren't close but are looking.

2. Dancing in front of you.

3. Standing next to you (they'll probably talk to you on their own, but you should talk to them).

4. Brushing up against you or sitting next to you when they could sit elsewhere (committed woman did this to me recently and started flirting with me in front of her fiance. She was trying to take me home right in front of him and raised her concerns about their future while he was in the bathroom).

5. Looking at you directly in the eyes and walking towards you (hold on tight for the next few hours you could be going somewhere special).

6. Talks to you first directly while looking you in the eye.

7. Asks you what you're drinking while looking you in the eye and is not with friends.

You're looking for the seventh glitch. Tell her what you're drinking. Don't ask for confirmation that she's buying you a drink.

Believe it or not they could be about to buy you a drink and fuck you subconsciously. They're definitely trying to make a bad decision tonight though.

There are way more glitches though and you'll see most or all of them if you go out for five days to a bar and don't drink.

Basically, if you see what stands out then all you have to do is catch yourself getting in your way. Sometimes you may have to walk away from the woman. Sometimes she may walk away. You may have to ask her if she's going home or if she wants to come home with you. You may have to kiss the strange bar chick to get her home. You may have to just take her number and see her another night. You may have to do a lot of things.

With any luck though, you should get your first real success and see the futility and meaningless of "getting" women. You'll get that high of, "hey I got her in xyz time. There really are no rules. You really don't have to do anything."

Then you'll look back on yourself and be like, "hey, I was different that night. I didn't need to give xyz rules. I didn't need to wait to bring up sex or talk to her forever."

You'll realize that this "game" is all saving time and not wasting it on bad opportunities.


Top
  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 3:44 am 
To clarify: you must continuously go out and observe until the feeling you get is a quieting, calm, serene recognition of your surroundings.

I originally said it may feel like moving through water. It may be different for you. The only recognition of it that's constant is that it feels effortless to explore and exploit the glitch.

I realize now that pointing to these phenomenons won't help you access them. This awakening happened to me though.

It's honestly the long route. It took three years for the turning point to happen. My mind just cracked from going out for like a week.

This happening before I started meditating and learning patience with long term rewards. The feeling of this process of letting go is exactly the same feeling you get from letting go through inner work. It's much more subconscious though.

If you have a conscious recognition during the process you'll most likely want to try to find that feeling again. The short answer is that it's in you and has always been.

The only thing you'll really notice is the belief that you can do this.

New Years is coming up and people are still on vacation. This will be the last perfect opportunity to catch delusional people thinking they'll start their next great relationship for the new year. :lol:

Going to nightclubs and bars are extreme training centers for your observation. So much is going on. If you can spot the glitch that can be explored and exploited once then you can continuously do it.

Edit: it really requires setting aside your ego though. It even requires setting aside your conceptions of beauty. I personally have different standards and only keep people off my interest list if they have health problems and financial problems. This is what I value though.

You'll find that the feeling of knowing and having that goal achieved is empty. Just appreciate it and set the next goal.

I don't know if I said this earlier, but you won't really get the true path from this. It's just a long route that points to it.

Best of luck to anyone who tries this. It's essentially the hard path that makes you think about walking the path in the right way. If you do it the inner work way and just focus on yourself you'll find that you can get to this point in a much much shorter time because the state of observation and allowing will be permanent.

Getting women isn't Kung Fu. It's Aikido. All you'll have to do is reciprocate, and if you spot the changes in your environment (glitches) well enough then you'll be able to reciprocate correctly.


Top
  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:09 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:13 pm
Posts: 178
Location: Italy
Dear Slim,
Can you explain better the "observation" in close environments like bars, pubs, clubs?
Basically what you literally do, your eyes (do you look anybody in the eyes or your environment) body, where you are looking, ect...
(I do not want to mistake, is it the uncle Wayne rule nr1 from the film "do not look ever at them, women are like horses get soon scared" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtBb4ASMeQ4).

(You know, I some bitches look at me if I have the face of Iceberg Slim, cause in these days I do a lot of stuff and I am tired.)

_________________
If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 4:03 am 
Do you see the furrowed brow and determined look that my avatar has? You want that.

Do you see how the house is behind him and he's looking forward? Got it? Don't put your head on a swivel stick. Use your peripheral vision. If it falls outside of your peripheral vision then don't go searching. Just look forward.

You would be better off sitting at the bar if you need to ask this many questions. Everyone comes to the bar. I can't recall how many times I've been hit on at the bar or how many women have bought me drinks while I was at the bar. It's easy.

Get that furrowed look. Then some woman will ask you what's wrong. They'll take an interest in you because they think it's about them. I have a permanent furrowed brow because I'm focused on lots of things besides women which give a multitude of feelings. You probably can try faking it. :lol:

It works.

Do you know why I don't look around in a bar? Everyone is trying to get laid. Do you know why my brow is furrowed? I can't afford the environments i actually want to be in. I'm left in the slop with the swine. :geek:

When you get to the point where you don't care at all things open up for you. You get there two ways: a pure openness and appreciation and a cold hard, "fuck you, me against the world attitude." One path is harder than the other. Your indecisiveness isn't helping you.

As for observation: Don't look at T.V.'s

focus on what's in your immediate vision. Don't try to make eye contact with women. They will seek your eye contact. Relax your neck muscles. If you have to turn your back then you're doing it wrong.

The rule of thumb is basically what women tell children: "Children should be seen not heard." Bosses sit back and listen. So be quiet. Observe what's in your immediate vision and reap the benefits. Been seen and be welcoming.

That's it. That's all it takes.

From there all you have to do are spot errors in what people are doing. Women that walk past you multiple times. Women that talk to you. Women that buy you drinks. Women that sit next to you. It's all in the original post. Everything is not listed though so let your imagination and logic work for you. If it feels strange that something is happening in your vicinity then it is STRANGE and she's trying to get your attention so pay attention because that's the only paying you should doing if you're paying anything.


Top
  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:30 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:13 pm
Posts: 178
Location: Italy
Thanks Slim for the answer, don`t worry, If I remember things that piss me off, I can have that assassin-look easily. But my question was more on how to behave there and not only: apply that everywhere, even when I walk in the streets...like looking around and staring at people. So thanks for the explanation, about not to do and what to do.

How to look at people, well I am not afraid to look at them in the eyes, few mistaken me for wise guys, girls told me in the past few times that the way I looked like were intimidated/"I am pissed off at them". Funny though when I was very sick or very drunk like could not feel the face, bitches approached me, secretly taking pictures of me with iphones, ect..

Here we have a different attitude, no one offers to women drinks as a way to approach women like in U.S. Plus, I dont have money and If i have them I would not spend them frivuosly like some fellas here do aka ATM machines (I steal that term from you Slim, its perfect), If i go out I have less than 10€, no pocket (I hate them like wiseguys), and I think that a bitch with 200euros clothes or more and 300-500€ smartphone can afford herself a drink.

Anyway, thank you again!

_________________
If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:58 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:32 pm
Posts: 959
Location: The Real World
PimpDee wrote:
Thanks Slim for the answer, don`t worry, If I remember things that piss me off, I can have that assassin-look easily. But my question was more on how to behave there and not only: apply that everywhere, even when I walk in the streets...like looking around and staring at people. So thanks for the explanation, about not to do and what to do.

How to look at people, well I am not afraid to look at them in the eyes, few mistaken me for wise guys, girls told me in the past few times that the way I looked like were intimidated/"I am pissed off at them". Funny though when I was very sick or very drunk like could not feel the face, bitches approached me, secretly taking pictures of me with iphones, ect..

Here we have a different attitude, no one offers to women drinks as a way to approach women like in U.S. Plus, I dont have money and If i have them I would not spend them frivuosly like some fellas here do aka ATM machines (I steal that term from you Slim, its perfect), If i go out I have less than 10€, no pocket (I hate them like wiseguys), and I think that a bitch with 200euros clothes or more and 300-500€ smartphone can afford herself a drink.

Anyway, thank you again!


This to me this sounds like you are looking for a roadmap, unfortunately there's no such thing or life would be a lot easier. You need to learn to trust yourself more or in the terms of Kidd "trust the gut"

_________________
~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 12:08 pm 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:08 pm
Posts: 2798
Location: UK
As far as observing.

Be in the space, open up to it, be aware of it, all of it.

Remember, if someone wants you to notice them, they will put themselves in your perception zone. At least once.

It is not your job to hunt them out when observing.

Try and connect to the energy of the space, feel what and where it is. This may sound like mumbo jumbo, however the more you do it, the more you will feel it. Note I did not say be influenced by it, observe it.
This will tell you where other peoples focus is, how it is changing, moving around.

In a lot of ways this is similar to the leaves on a river analogy, watch things happen, see why they happened, what happens after, who did it etc. This does not mean you have to participate. Like the leaves, let them go, the situations, just let them go.

A part of this is very related to the concept of space, giving yourself space to observe properly and also giving others the space to just act how they will.

You are not 'looking at people' you are observing them. Direct eye contact is not required in the slightest. It can be engaged if someone places themselves in your perception zone.

Which brings me onto another point one of the posters touched upon, keep your head roughly still (not rigid), then experiment with how far your peripheral vision reaches, in all directions, as it will unlikely be symetrical. Practice looking at things without your head being pointed towards them, practice spotting movement and changes outside of your primary cone of sight. This will open up your perception of the world a lot.
[of note is that men tend to have most of their 'vision' in a narrowish cone in front of them, women have most of their 'vision' more located in the peripheral range.]

This can be done anywhere, I have just returned from shopping and spent 20-30 mins sitting having a coffee in the food court, observing life, alone. Quieting the mind and body.
This can be done anywhere there are people, it can be fine tuned in places where there are not people also, I have taken people to do the zoo to do this before.

Heck, do it with your cat or dog or other pet. Its all the same in the end.

In a sense you are calibrating yourself, in a way you have not done before. It will take time to become comfortable with it.
Do it with nature, with people, with yourself.

AND lastly, read the first post again a few times again.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:25 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:44 am
Posts: 100
Slim Titan wrote:
Do you see how the house is behind him and he's looking forward? Got it? Don't put your head on a swivel stick. Use your peripheral vision. If it falls outside of your peripheral vision then don't go searching. Just look forward



peregrinus wrote:
Remember, if someone wants you to notice them, they will put themselves in your perception zone. At least once.

It is not your job to hunt them out when observing.


This really stands out to me as one of the most subtle forms of chasing/invading others space that we do without realizing it, that we openly display to the world. We don't realize how needy we are coming off just in seeking for more confirmation that some woman actually does want us, while conversely in doing so we're pushing her away.

If a woman is giving you confirmation she wants you/wants you to come talk to her then either....
a) choose to go talk to her if appropriate
c) choose not to talk to her and let it go if not appropriate

The place many of us get stuck for a long time is between "a" and "c"

b) want to go talk to her but choose not to out of fear as we repeat excuses and stories to ourself on why we are allowing our fear to choose C for us rather than choose/act on A.

It is essentially a fear of the unknown and you can get lost in it for years, lifetimes really, it takes on all different forms in reality. Ultimately we never know what is next for us so spinning around in circles in our mind about what may or may not happen does us no good. Stepping into our desires with courage and being open to the lessons that life has to teach us is the only way out of the maze of our mind.


edit: It's totally fine to choose C, just do it from a place of it being inappropriate/bad timing to talk to that woman or you simply don't want to.....but then let it go. If you find yourself constantly thinking about it then you mostly likely didn't consciously choose C based on seeing all the options available, but rather B took place and you went into fight or flight and ran from your desire and made up an excuse in your mind so you don't have to see your fear for what it is.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 1:35 am 
Glad that people don't think I'm too "technical" with the post.

Seriously, there's a roadmap to your first "proofed" sex, but it takes so much work the inner work path is better because you'll start doing it naturally.

Recently, a woman showed up in a place she shouldn't have been. I walked in and looked at her.

I'm literally like WTF!? While looking at her. I am just like time to put on my detective goggles. Lol.

So what do I do?

I walk right behind her and cut off the person who was trying to get in line before me. They were racing up. I'm just like dude, I don't have time for your in-a-hurry-to-do-jack-shit instant gratification moves.

I cut off that person because they would have blocked my view. She was right in front of me. Just like I thought, the instant gratification line cutter didn't say anything because I didn't have anything in my hands.

Conveniently, I was purchasing some stuff from behind the counter.

Anyway, I just start observing. This is my only goal. I'm not even really attracted to the woman. It's just weird seeing her.

So what happens?

Turns out. She felt emotionally that it was strange to see me dressed the way I was too. Maybe it was something else. She knew I noticed her and knew that I noticed that she noticed me.

Kind of confusing statement there. So, it's just all laid out now.

I'm just looking at the back of her head. Observing straight forward using my peripherals.

I notice she's turning her head, where you can't see her eyes, but it's clear that she's looking at me.

This is how good their vision is. You have to be up close to see it for the level that they can do this too.

Next step, I turn my head and look at what's happening to the right. I was previously observing straight forward. She was looking left.

Where does her head go? You guessed it. To the right.

Where does my head go next? You guessed it. To the left.

What do I do next? You guessed it. I calmed myself and looked for a solution to the problem.

We all know what the problem is. We're both interested in finding out more about each other. The problem is that we have nothing to talk about.

Before she gets up to the counter to go next, I look at her basket, and ask if she's having a party. She has things going on that indicates a party.

What happens next? You guessed it. Instantly, her mouth opens and a Torrent of conversation I can barely keep up with flows out of her.

Before I know it, our time is up. We had a small human connection. Did it go anywhere?

No.

It wasn't supposed to right now. She'll be back there though.

This is what observation and being out of your head does. You just help the women.

This is the difference between seeing and doing.

The roadmap to consistent sex has crossing paths between "technical" know how and "concepts" and "just being".

I gave the roadmap on consistent sex.

I'm sure that woman remembers me. Not much, she remembers though. She'll want to ask me questions this time. She needed me to notice her and to start something. That's all.

The next time we see each other if I have enough courage and am not in my head, I'll get her number with noooooo questions asked.

In fact, I could have got it then. She just had circumstances preventing her from talking longer. There's no rush though.

In fact, we'll probably hangout if we cross paths again.

I know she's on the lookout for me though.

There's way less work the next time around.


Top
  
 
PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 6:50 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:44 am
Posts: 100
I'll add some stuff to this as I go as well. Everything is moving really fast for me and dealing with women is getting pretty easy. I'm beginning to be able to tell which fruit is ready to be picked and which one still needs to ripen much better. Def think some I've left growing on the tree too long but thats part of the learning process just like picking them way too early is part of the process. You have to find that perfect ripeness and you only do so by talking to lots of women and gauging how they react to you. If you are reacting to them....you're dead in the water already just abandon ship. You could finish out the interaction just for the lesson but I remember I used to get attached to thinking I was gonna hook up with some girl I was in reaction to and it was just me chasing her via text and her politely responding when she felt like it if at all. So once you're done face to face if that's how it went then you might as well just let it go and move on.


Example of how easy it is to pick a ripe fruit (technically I haven't yet, she's supposed to hit me up later today about coming over). I go to Whole Foods and get a fruit/veggie smoothie prob 3-5 times per week. There's this really cute Mexican girl I believe, she's fairly young prob 20-22, she's small but has a nice ass and shapely body for being petite. Something about her really turns me on and I've seen her a fair number of times and everything has always just been friendly, standard conversation. Hi, how's it going? How was your weekend? etc... We always just vibe well and enjoy being around each other even for the short amount of time we see each other. I can tell she's nervous around me and I see the ways her body is releases the tension with little nervous giggles or movements. I feel turned on so I know that's what she's feeling too, she's just not comfortable feeling that way around me and I am so she's in reaction to me. She's so friendly to me all the time and I can always tell she's really excited to see me. The last couple times I saw her the context in the air, just the vibe I could feel was like she was just dying inside to be with me but she just didn't know how to do anything but be really friendly to me and fully display that for me despite the fact that she was really nervous and it would be easier to be one of the girls that's really quiet and doesn't make eye contact and just asks me what I want to drink and doesn't say anything. She's being completely vulnerable and putting herself out there as much as she possibly can in hopes that I will notice it and make a move.

So a few days ago I walk in and as I'm walking to the counter we see each other from 20 feet away or so. She lights up with a huge smile and immediately rushes to the register so that she gets to be the one that takes my order. Boom that's it, what more do I need? She's ready to be picked.

I ask her how her day is going. Then I order my drink. As she's ringing all that up I ask if she has plans for the weekend and she's like....ehhh which is no. And she tells me she has to work. She says she has to come in at 6am Sunday and wasn't looking forward to that. I asked what time she got off and she said 3. I told her I'll be around my place kicking it and she welcome to come by when she gets off work. Rather than wait for a yes or no I just said...do you know my name or have we never done that. She said she didn't so we exchanged names and I took her hand and instead of shaking it I just held it in mine for just longer than what would be the social norm so she knows for sure what's up.. I asked if she had a piece of paper and she handed me a receipt and a pen and I wrote down my name and number, gave it to her and that was that.

It was the simplest interaction ever and took probably 45 seconds total all while I ordered my smoothie and all because I had been observing how she had been reacting to me for the last 6-8 weeks of seeing her off and on and just making a mental note of it. The old me rather than recognizing this girl was feeling me and trying to get my attention would have recognized she was feeling me as....omg there's something between me and this girl. There's just something about her that's so cute and I want to fuck her so bad etc. Then I would constantly be looking for signs that she liked me, problem is all my attention is on her looking for signs so now she's too nervous to even give them to me bc I'm bombarding her with my emotions rather than letting her bombard me with hers and being man enough to handle it for both of us. You have to be man enough to handle all the emotions you exchange with a woman in your interaction, once she knows you can't or that you mostly can't....you're NOT attractive to her.

If you want to get women it's really really really simple. STOP FUCKING TRYING. Just stop, like literally don't even try to do anything to get women. Now just go talk to them like they're normal human beings. Stop looking at girls you think are hot and thinking you need to fuck her bc she's so hot. Stop having a type. Be open to all women being attracted to you bc if you want to get to the highest level it's just gonna be like that anyway.

Ok from here once you let go of feeling like you need to fuck all these different girls and you have all kinds of different interactions with all kinds of different girls something will happen. You will begin to see yourself more clearly than ever before. You will see how you we're totally cool and didn't give a fuck when you talked to the 5 you didn't really care about fucking but when you saw that 9 and you had a really clever thing to say standing in line next to her you got scared and kept quiet. Or when you talked to the 7 that was being cool and friendly with you and you felt attracted to her you noticed yourself stumbling over your words or thinking about what you should say to get her bc it seems like you guys might be into each other, so you get her number and it seems like it's a GO and then you text her for a few weeks and it all fizzles out. You will start to realize what it is about you that is causing you to display different behaviors in different situations and you will see that you're not being 100% authentic. This is the window into seeing exactly how your mindset works and how the way you think is sabotaging your behavior. You will see how you are hiding your true feelings from certain people and lying to yourself around them while around other people you feel totally comfortable being yourself. The only way to to get good with women is to interact with a lot of them and just watch your behavior. Don't even care about what happens, only care about watching your behavior and what you can learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:55 am 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:08 pm
Posts: 2798
Location: UK
luciddream wrote:
problem is all my attention is on her looking for signs so now she's too nervous to even give them to me bc I'm bombarding her with my emotions rather than letting her bombard me with hers and being man enough to handle it for both of us. You have to be man enough to handle all the emotions you exchange with a woman in your interaction, once she knows you can't or that you mostly can't....you're NOT attractive to her.
luciddream wrote:
You will start to realize what it is about you that is causing you to display different behaviors in different situations and you will see that you're not being 100% authentic. This is the window into seeing exactly how your mindset works and how the way you think is sabotaging your behavior. You will see how you are hiding your true feelings from certain people and lying to yourself around them while around other people you feel totally comfortable being yourself. The only way to to get good with women is to interact with a lot of them and just watch your behavior. Don't even care about what happens, only care about watching your behavior and what you can learn from it.

This

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 6:54 pm 
I know that feeling well. Seeing them rush to do things.

It happened to me recently. A woman who rejected me two years ago just started rushing to ring up a customer. There is another cashier with her. She doesn't have to do it, and she didn't do it for the customer ahead of the woman.

She only started doing it as soon as she saw me.

I have no feelings for her either. She changed her speed when dealing with me to a normal pace.

I'm like that's interesting. She knows there's something different about me from two years ago in a major way. In fact, the changes have been compounding in my mindset even faster.

It's like one of those hockey stick curves where you're stuck at the bottom for a long time always having gone backwards. Then you get a whiff of the right direction and BOOM you're accelerating as fast as humanly possible.

Anyway, back to her. The woman knows I'm different. She wants to see something up close.

Nearly every day I've gone to the business she like puts herself in front of my vision. She is as you say unable to show her emotions. She doesn't know the door is open though.

She has to work for it. She hurt my feelings with a rejection when I summoned every ounce of courage to speak to her. Forgiving her for this has little use to me unless something changes. In fact, I'm not even mad or bitter. There's just no reason to give her that level of thinking in myself again. It was and is a very high vibration. My vibe wasn't perfect, and now I'm at an even higher level than before. So if she rejected me at a level most guys or even people never reach then the problem isn't with me.

She just could handle me at my previous maximum. Why would she be able to handle a me that is much closer to my genuine self and moving there at a faster rate then before?

On the same day I saw the strange woman and observed her, I made a mental note that it was the second time the woman who rejected me walked in front of me and to her car to get a drink.

She wasn't on break and probably didn't have clearance to do that either.

Honestly, if you reject someone you care about for no decent reason without leaving the field open how can you come back to them and present yourself with new profound feelings?

I know that if the persuasiveness of me as human increases significantly through clout then she'll feel the desperation of what she missed out on and will be forced to make a move. It won't be for the real me. It will be because she realizes what she missed out on.

I'm adding something different here it may not be totally correct because I haven't confirmed it yet. There's a difference between not being able to handle the emotions and giving your absolute best to someone. Sure they don't like you if you don't handle it well, but that's ego.

When you use productive emotions and move the needle they can't help but feel something.

Back to the girl, her behavior has changed because my behavior has changed as well as my emotions and mindset. The needle has moved up.

She is just shutdown emotionally because I shutdown those feelings after she rejected me. I closed up shop and completely accepted a future without her. That's powerful. Another woman has done that to me. It's powerful.

As for what she will do, I can compare with another situation.

At the end of my egotistical era as a human after I cracked my beliefs through brute force, I saw a woman blossoming who wanted my attention.

She was an amazing bartender. She offered me free drinks to listen to her problems. She waved food prices for certain items when management wasn't around. She even got the cook to give me free food. They loved talking to me about dating.

It all culminated in one night where she followed me out for a cigarette for the second or third time after she had supposedly quit.

Her beliefs and who she was started changing to reflect who I was becoming.

She looked at me expectantly. I was going home with her if I had courage to kiss her, no questions. I missed courage and knew I was missing it.

Rejection is a real fear for men and women. When people see that you have courage in general and will do what is necessary. It's a strong moving emotion for men and women.

She slowly lost confidence in me when she saw I didn't have courage.

Conversely, the first woman is changing because she does see that my emotions, mindset, and everything about me are changing.

I'm gaining patience. Courage. Stillness. Resolve. And so many other productive qualities.

Who can't help but be attracted to it or fear it. It's polarizing. There is no in-between when you see it up close.

She like the woman who slowly lost confidence who was ready for me when I was at one of my lowest points. This woman will slowly gain extreme confidence in me like the previous woman because I'm a genuine man and am working on the external proofs of it now.


Top
  
 
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:12 am 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:08 pm
Posts: 2798
Location: UK
Slim Titan wrote:
She hurt my feelings with a rejection when I summoned every ounce of courage to speak to her. Forgiving her for this has little use to me unless something changes.

Let that shit go

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 4:41 am 
Lol, man I'm not sweating it. I let it go a long time ago.

I should say I'm not "forgetting" that. I'm not mad at all.

I doubt anything comes of it though. No relationship or anything. Her feelings and curiosity will build, but she will never even make a partial move or give a sign because she's so shutdown.


Top
  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group