Natural Freedom

Forum for the natural awakening and self-realization of men
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 6:00 am 
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This post is a response to a pm I received. I was asked about getting women. To be honest, I'm not the best person to answer this. I don't have 9 women simultaneously. I haven't maintained a relationship longer than 6 months.

The only thing to my credit really is that I haven't been able to close possibly 9 women over this year. I think it's an important credential because I was invited over each time. The women really close their self though. However, not having a car slows things down to the point that you need an EXTRAORDINARY amount of patience. I'm on one month and 2 weeks right now for my fastest one, a woman saying she's going to come visit me right now. I'm on 8 months and 2 weeks for my slowest one.

I don't talk to any of them much and basically let them know that I'm around and kicking. I'll probably get four of the 9 and cut the rest off.

They all know that I'm only looking for friends so the contract is well established and loose enough that there isn't a huge ticking time bomb.

How do I have confirmation that this is important. Well two years ago I set aside my impatience for a solid 3 months and wala. The woman turned up on my door step three months later with her friend, but she had her baby in tow. I didn't want to wait another month for crying out loud to get her. Her friend was basically calling the shots too, which my ego didn't like.

I typed out a long response to the PM. All I really have to add is how to see how to get past the first step.

We really talk a lot about inner work and how it will solve things. We talk about how inner work is good for its own right, which it is. The one thing which everyone comes here struggling with is what they ironically never get right until much later in their journey.

This is my most earnest and best attempt at explaining in plain English what it takes to get laid. I'm ready for any feedback and hope that people will give better PRACTICAL responses.

I was asked what should be read to learn about women. I'm actually not suggesting that. At first I did in the PM. However, 90% of learning takes place by doing. I'm not going to tell you exactly what to do because every situation calls for a response tailored for that situation.

The Matrix:

We all know from the Matrix how things are so supposed to be. You have your limitations. You have the rules. There's one scene about the matrix that's particularly interesting. It's where the kid says," it's not the spoon that bends. It's you that bends."

This is important. You have to be more fluid. You have to flow like music. In fact, I'm going to give away the secret sauce early in the post and just shore up the edges to make sure everything is clear.

Step One: set aside your preconceptions of what is beautiful.

Realization: humans have different body types. Everyone starts somewhere.

Step Two: Observe, Observe, Observe then take it all in.

Realization: the more you are observing. The less your ego can get in your way. Observing the observer is best for inner work but not fucking.

Step three: look for the glitch.

Realization: whenever your awareness reaches a certain point of reach, you'll be able to see more things that stands out: contrived things, repeating things (groundhog day), things observing you.

Step four: explore the glitch

Realization: any time there is something that stands out in your awareness it is there for a reason.

I may not be getting this process entirely right. In fact, there really aren't steps, but you have to start somewhere. These are the steps to basically see the repeating nature and futility of "getting" women in the strongest sense. You'll get stuck at step one if you don't like black women, white women, Asian, Latina etc. You'll get stuck at step one if you don't like fat women skinny women etc.

It's good that you'll be stuck there so you can explore beauty standards. When you start to not give a fuck. You'll open your net wider.

Step one encompasses the entirety of the matrix.

I am not my ego

This part encompasses step two. You have to observe see how you're getting your own way. Basic observation of your environment is good enough to get you laid. You'll be stuck at this point for a long time if you can't get out of your head.

Getting out of your head is important, but if you struggle to get women it's going to be even harder for you to observe yourself in the moment and get out of your own way.

Haha, I'm not sure if I'm making sense here, but you have to be comfortable with genuinely observing your environment to get your awareness strong enough to see what you're doing too. It's kind of counter intuitive and is a different form of observing yourself for the purpose of inner work.

You need to be able to see when you're getting in your own way and catch yourself.

Experiment: go out to the bar five days in a row. DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL AT ALL. IF YOU DO DRINK THEN ONLY DRINK SODAs etc. This includes weekdays and weekends. Look to do this around a holiday too when bars are open. The day before Christmas is coming up.

This is kind of dark, but suicides and shitty feelings are high around this time. People have fights with their partners around this time. People want to find someone for the new year around this time. Don't wait until the new year though. You'll realize that you're late to the show.

If you're doing this right: on the fifth day you should notice a difference in your observation. It's really a muscle.

You'll notice that you see more. You may notice a woman looking at you. This is where observation just begins. If you're doing it right you should start to be able to tell when there are obstacles.

If you do try this experiment then you may just have a little variance go your way and be approached by a woman directly.

Otherwise your job is slightly harder and only slightly because if you're doing it right you should notice some repetitions, contrived situations, encroachments in your territory, and all around other glitches.

Looking for and Exploring the glitch:

There is no such thing as a perfect system. That's why some women approach you even though they never have to in order to get sex. This is where you come in.

I always thought the glitch in the Matrix was some phenomenal thing. I thought it was extraordinary and to a certain extent it is.

I'll list glitches for women in their most important order in bars with higher numbers being most important.

1. Approaching your vicinity they aren't close but are looking.

2. Dancing in front of you.

3. Standing next to you (they'll probably talk to you on their own, but you should talk to them).

4. Brushing up against you or sitting next to you when they could sit elsewhere (committed woman did this to me recently and started flirting with me in front of her fiance. She was trying to take me home right in front of him and raised her concerns about their future while he was in the bathroom).

5. Looking at you directly in the eyes and walking towards you (hold on tight for the next few hours you could be going somewhere special).

6. Talks to you first directly while looking you in the eye.

7. Asks you what you're drinking while looking you in the eye and is not with friends.

You're looking for the seventh glitch. Tell her what you're drinking. Don't ask for confirmation that she's buying you a drink.

Believe it or not they could be about to buy you a drink and fuck you subconsciously. They're definitely trying to make a bad decision tonight though.

There are way more glitches though and you'll see most or all of them if you go out for five days to a bar and don't drink.

Basically, if you see what stands out then all you have to do is catch yourself getting in your way. Sometimes you may have to walk away from the woman. Sometimes she may walk away. You may have to ask her if she's going home or if she wants to come home with you. You may have to kiss the strange bar chick to get her home. You may have to just take her number and see her another night. You may have to do a lot of things.

With any luck though, you should get your first real success and see the futility and meaningless of "getting" women. You'll get that high of, "hey I got her in xyz time. There really are no rules. You really don't have to do anything."

Then you'll look back on yourself and be like, "hey, I was different that night. I didn't need to give xyz rules. I didn't need to wait to bring up sex or talk to her forever."

You'll realize that this "game" is all saving time and not wasting it on bad opportunities.

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 3:44 am 
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To clarify: you must continuously go out and observe until the feeling you get is a quieting, calm, serene recognition of your surroundings.

I originally said it may feel like moving through water. It may be different for you. The only recognition of it that's constant is that it feels effortless to explore and exploit the glitch.

I realize now that pointing to these phenomenons won't help you access them. This awakening happened to me though.

It's honestly the long route. It took three years for the turning point to happen. My mind just cracked from going out for like a week.

This happening before I started meditating and learning patience with long term rewards. The feeling of this process of letting go is exactly the same feeling you get from letting go through inner work. It's much more subconscious though.

If you have a conscious recognition during the process you'll most likely want to try to find that feeling again. The short answer is that it's in you and has always been.

The only thing you'll really notice is the belief that you can do this.

New Years is coming up and people are still on vacation. This will be the last perfect opportunity to catch delusional people thinking they'll start their next great relationship for the new year. :lol:

Going to nightclubs and bars are extreme training centers for your observation. So much is going on. If you can spot the glitch that can be explored and exploited once then you can continuously do it.

Edit: it really requires setting aside your ego though. It even requires setting aside your conceptions of beauty. I personally have different standards and only keep people off my interest list if they have health problems and financial problems. This is what I value though.

You'll find that the feeling of knowing and having that goal achieved is empty. Just appreciate it and set the next goal.

I don't know if I said this earlier, but you won't really get the true path from this. It's just a long route that points to it.

Best of luck to anyone who tries this. It's essentially the hard path that makes you think about walking the path in the right way. If you do it the inner work way and just focus on yourself you'll find that you can get to this point in a much much shorter time because the state of observation and allowing will be permanent.

Getting women isn't Kung Fu. It's Aikido. All you'll have to do is reciprocate, and if you spot the changes in your environment (glitches) well enough then you'll be able to reciprocate correctly.

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:09 am 
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Dear Slim,
Can you explain better the "observation" in close environments like bars, pubs, clubs?
Basically what you literally do, your eyes (do you look anybody in the eyes or your environment) body, where you are looking, ect...
(I do not want to mistake, is it the uncle Wayne rule nr1 from the film "do not look ever at them, women are like horses get soon scared" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtBb4ASMeQ4).

(You know, I some bitches look at me if I have the face of Iceberg Slim, cause in these days I do a lot of stuff and I am tired.)

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 4:03 am 
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Do you see the furrowed brow and determined look that my avatar has? You want that.

Do you see how the house is behind him and he's looking forward? Got it? Don't put your head on a swivel stick. Use your peripheral vision. If it falls outside of your peripheral vision then don't go searching. Just look forward.

You would be better off sitting at the bar if you need to ask this many questions. Everyone comes to the bar. I can't recall how many times I've been hit on at the bar or how many women have bought me drinks while I was at the bar. It's easy.

Get that furrowed look. Then some woman will ask you what's wrong. They'll take an interest in you because they think it's about them. I have a permanent furrowed brow because I'm focused on lots of things besides women which give a multitude of feelings. You probably can try faking it. :lol:

It works.

Do you know why I don't look around in a bar? Everyone is trying to get laid. Do you know why my brow is furrowed? I can't afford the environments i actually want to be in. I'm left in the slop with the swine. :geek:

When you get to the point where you don't care at all things open up for you. You get there two ways: a pure openness and appreciation and a cold hard, "fuck you, me against the world attitude." One path is harder than the other. Your indecisiveness isn't helping you.

As for observation: Don't look at T.V.'s

focus on what's in your immediate vision. Don't try to make eye contact with women. They will seek your eye contact. Relax your neck muscles. If you have to turn your back then you're doing it wrong.

The rule of thumb is basically what women tell children: "Children should be seen not heard." Bosses sit back and listen. So be quiet. Observe what's in your immediate vision and reap the benefits. Been seen and be welcoming.

That's it. That's all it takes.

From there all you have to do are spot errors in what people are doing. Women that walk past you multiple times. Women that talk to you. Women that buy you drinks. Women that sit next to you. It's all in the original post. Everything is not listed though so let your imagination and logic work for you. If it feels strange that something is happening in your vicinity then it is STRANGE and she's trying to get your attention so pay attention because that's the only paying you should doing if you're paying anything.

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:30 pm 
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Thanks Slim for the answer, don`t worry, If I remember things that piss me off, I can have that assassin-look easily. But my question was more on how to behave there and not only: apply that everywhere, even when I walk in the streets...like looking around and staring at people. So thanks for the explanation, about not to do and what to do.

How to look at people, well I am not afraid to look at them in the eyes, few mistaken me for wise guys, girls told me in the past few times that the way I looked like were intimidated/"I am pissed off at them". Funny though when I was very sick or very drunk like could not feel the face, bitches approached me, secretly taking pictures of me with iphones, ect..

Here we have a different attitude, no one offers to women drinks as a way to approach women like in U.S. Plus, I dont have money and If i have them I would not spend them frivuosly like some fellas here do aka ATM machines (I steal that term from you Slim, its perfect), If i go out I have less than 10€, no pocket (I hate them like wiseguys), and I think that a bitch with 200euros clothes or more and 300-500€ smartphone can afford herself a drink.

Anyway, thank you again!

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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