I understand exactly what you mean, but place a high value on learning. Something or someone doesn't had to have added value externally to me, or be expected to in the future for the memory or experience to have value. Sometimes the battles we "lose" are more important than the ones we "win" because they enable us to discover something about ourselves.
With regards to remembering people I think if you compiled a history of success in this world there would be more success attributed to people who kept acquaintances than those who kept solitary. Maybe that's entirely wrong though, or won't apply, maybe I am wasting 5 seconds of time and .25 kb of data every time. Not really something to worry about.
Five seconds of time adds up a lot over life.
Also, I never said any of those things about success, winning or losing, or what not. Do what works for you. The cliffs notes of what I said are that I don't even save people in my phone unless they're trying to be consistently in my life. It's better to let people be who they will.
I don't think you can lose if you don't play. This comes from tons of useless business cards regarding my previous two businesses, a lot of inner work over the last year, a fair amount of meditation etc.
Do what you will though.
I recently shared a post on my blog that talks about this very topic. I’m going to share it here. Just look at it as an alternative perspective.
I remember when I was coming from this position. It wasn't hard to get past the first few steps with women, but everything was way too mechanical. I had to keep so much in my head that I was in my head all the time. What really strikes me looking at the big picture is that you're trying to beat them over the head with a club. In terms of tactics, this only works with a certain type of woman.
However, what I really want to highlight is that what you're doing isn't wrong per se. You don't have the wrong intentions. There's just a certain lack of awareness and applying things incorrectly. It may not even be that. I don't have all the details of your interactions to know what both of you were doing.
The emergent aspect of the post that struck me is Force vs. Power. This is really synchronous and helped me shore up some problems in what I was doing wrong recently so THANK YOU (ALL CAPS AND BOLD)
. I had the awareness to know that what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't have the awareness to know it so clearly now. It just felt wrong. I was literally asking myself how to be true to myself when I was fucking up.
Anyway, Force vs. Power. We haven't had a real tactics discussion in a long time. It's been a lot more inner journey stuff. If this resonates with you then let me know. If not, that's cool. It resonates with me, which is why I'm saying it.
Force: the government can lock you up. You can shoot someone. You hurt someone. You can even make them feel emotionally small and belittled. That is force. Force doesn't always get you what you want. If a woman made me feel hurt because of my bad behavior, I wouldn't do a damn thing for her that I wasn't already going to do out of
a.) a sense of obligation because of my values.
b.) I already felt like doing it.
I think force works well on women who confuse force for power like feminists, which is why a heavy handed pimp tight hand works so well on them.
Power: your basketball or football coach can get you to run one more lap when you're deadbeat tired because they encourage you. You know you may also be cut from the team if you don't do it. However, the key thing is that you LIKE
doing it POWER. Your friend will drive to pick you up and burn endless amounts of money on you even though he feels like it's a drag because he know's you have his back, RECIPROCATION and EMPOWERMENT. Better yet, you tell your friend you don't like music or don't like something about him and get him or her to show their best self by showing them that you still VALUE them even though they don't appeal to some of your finer discernment.
There are numerous examples of force and power.
In the matrix, Neo trains and everything but can't really fuck up the agents until he has the awareness to do that inception thing in them. He literally has to "die" mentally to rework his nervous system. That's honestly what's at stake for true power.
In Star Wars:
Usage of the Force granted a number of useful powers, such as the ability to sense impending attacks; to push and lift physical objects; influence the thoughts of others, known as the "Jedi mind trick"; and even see the future or maintain one's consciousness after death. Dark side users strong with the Force could summon lightning from their fingertips. Jedi taught younglings that the Force could be used for many purposes, including protection, persuasion, wisdom, the manipulation of matter and the performance of great physical feats.
You can either use the force for the dark side and give someone brain damage from all that lightening. Or you can get the real power and pull off the "Jedi Mind Trick" like inception and be like, "This is the dick you're looking for."
Just having a little a fun with it.
@TheKing65: you helped me understand this intimately. Who knows, this may not resonate with anyone, and I may be crazy, but it feels right to me.
That's the big picture that stood out to me. If she's not contacting you and you feel like you're back up, I think you should be trying to use some wisdom and tell her that you feel like she's not be true etc. or just protect yourself and leave it alone. If she hits you up after not contacting you then maybe let her know she's been gone and that you want her to get ball rolling, something along the lines of you'll feel better about her. Like, try and jedi mind trick that shit.
I don't think the lighting and brain damage is right for a woman not contacting you. Now if she hits you up and disses you after you tell her what you're honestly thinking (radically honest). Then shock that bitch back into reality because she's clearly out wreck herself and cruising for a bruisin as my grandpa used to say.