Natural Freedom

Observation, some questions
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Author:  peregrinus [ Fri May 08, 2020 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Observation, some questions

A lot of wisdom, lessons to be learnt and directions to follow.

She was open and honest, with the above and the rest.

[Edit: +1 to Jared for the post below]

Author:  Jared [ Fri May 08, 2020 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Observation, some questions

Heard this on radio today:
Mom: Ok enough with crying, I'm worried.

Girl: A boy likes me, but I don't like him. I'm afraid to tell him,
I'll break his heart and he'll never believe in love again.

Mom: Oh stop flattering yourself, you're not that awesome.
He'll get over you.

Author:  Flux [ Fri May 08, 2020 10:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Observation, some questions

It just sucks though.. I forgot to mention. I kept saying how i wanted her as she was like there are 100s of girls like me, how I'd find someone better. That I'd find someone that loved me like she did. I actually accidentally sent her a scripted text going through the messages, YES it was a accident guys :lol: I told her that. And she responded that I can contact her when I want to talk... am I'm wondering should I just leave her cold or answer back or talk to her. I'm worried that if I don't answer her back she will never reach out again... Fuck. I still want her back but I know it's a lost cause.

Author:  Flux [ Wed May 13, 2020 10:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Observation, some questions

Playing with space, among other things...

A little experiment to see how things go.

In a moment of weakness, I failed to let my ex go. Even though I sent the text I sent was I mistake I did respond to her more after she said we could talk. Asking her to meet up and about sex. Of course, she refused to say how I needed time to heal and later how she's not comfortable with it while dating someone else. I tried being cocky and funny over text and that was a shitshow, she called me out on it because again I wasn't finishing how I started. I backpedaled explaining myself, apologizing, and filling space. Bening needy again I asked if she was still attracted to me and she said she was just not as intensely as before.

We met to chill and she was still distant. When we cuddled she leaned away from me. Talked about the relationship what mistakes and what both of us could do better. I was still needy asking bout the other person. She let me sexually gratify myself with a fetish of mine but no further than that.


The next two days of no contact was excruciating.

Doing pushups I resolved myself to never contact her again. The pain of letting go sucked, my chest felt like it was killing me. I thought of my reputation, what her family would think. The other guy having sex with her. I read the forums to ease my mind. Around the third day I started to make peace with it, thinking about getting a better girl I could connect with and focusing on improving my life. Being dissatisfied with my situation is apart of the reason I was so attached to her. I was using her to run away from my problems.

She texts...

G "Hey! hope your day is going well!"

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want her back on the team. Not as a relationship but I still want her as sexual partner.

After some time...
F: Hey, you too! Would like to see you. Wanna chill?
G: Sur, we can still at work rn. Probably gonna be home around 10
G: Hopefully sooner, I'll lyk

Thought about responding. Nah.

G: Hey, I'm heading home now. When you come over I'm gonna need a back or foot massage cause I'm fucking dying lol.
F: lol. Be otw in a few.


i spent to long looking for my keys and she canceled because she was really tired and works double shifts all week. i was frustrated I could find my fucking keys :lol: and called her and told her to go to bed. She asked if I was sure and I said I wanted to see her (sigh, filling space again.) But she said we could hang out either the weekend or next week or something.

Still focusing on letting go but I would like to have her as a sexual parter. I feel better about not really contacting her unless she reaches out. Wonder how I'm gonna play this if we do meet up though.

Author:  Flux [ Sun May 17, 2020 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Observation, some questions

So... I fucked my ex. :lol:

Space truly is the greatest aphrodisiac...

I still don't know how to feel about it. Before she contacted me I went I through a lot of pain letting go of the previous relationship we had. The attachment. I let go of the fact that I would have been the only one to have her. We both knew it would end eventually.

She reached out and I responded. I wasn't to eager but when I suggested a meetup, I went through a fit of anxiety. Would she know what I was trying to do? Would she think I was still being needy? Every time I let go of wanting a favorable outcome with her and forget about her, she responded by text.

She invited me over. I could tell she had reservations about kissing but she went along with it. We talked in cuddled a bit. It was weird. I'd felt like I had subsumed my previous self, how I felt at the start of when we dated. I was detached, not as detached as before but I was getting there. She was very animated telling me about everything that happened since we last were together but I wonder if she was still trying to hide from me a bit. She asked if I meet any girls. Said this might be the last time in case she got closer to the other guy. I told her not those worry about the future. I said that I wasn't trying to take her away from him.

She was more aggressive during sex constantly saying how she hated me. I told her she to loved me even if she acted like she didn't. "I never said that I didn't," She said.

She said I'll be letting you go soon. I said she'll be back. She told me to send a goodnight text. I did and she didn't respond. That had me miffed but I know she was texting the new guy.

hmm...I feel better but I still need to move on. She'll be back if things don't work out. Maybe then we can restructure the contract. As for now I can focus on other things and other women.

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