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 Post subject: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:33 am 
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Okay, so earlier I've been very skeptical about marriage and frankly, not seen the point (looking at the risk/reward), however the info in the following video (and a few others) gave me something to chew one. Here Stefan Molyneux argues, and very well at that, why you should get married, and how to minimize the chance of divorce and a bad marriage.

Right now I feel I probably will look to get married at the right time. I have been becoming more religious, and that is a major reason for the change of heart (more on that some other time). Obviously, I will still look to minimize and maximime the risk and reward, respectivily.


Last edited by The GK2 on Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:39 am 
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Video: "Stefan Molyneux: Saying No To Marriage"

It's a long video (over 2 hours), so here is my patchy notes and overview. It's straight from Onenote, but you guys will figure it out. ;)

"GK's patchy notes" wrote:
Stefan Molyneux: Saying No To Marriage
From <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imcQrPW-A-Y>

@ 30:00:
- Why they say: "Untill death do us part".
○ The affect on grandchildren, allows the grand parents to easier be part of the childs life.
- Society is more stable when men marry 1 woman.

@ 40:00:
- What happens after divorce to the kids:
○ The mother gets custody (most of the time).
○ Start hanging out in the lower brackets of society, and that affects the child badly.

@ 45:00
- Poor vs Rich mindset: VERY GOOD POINTS

@ 48:00:
- "How to reduce your risk of divorce"
○ Delay marriage until the age of 25, then the risk goes down 24%!
○ Living together before marriage, not good.
○ Second or Third marriage, the risk increases!
○ The more assets the couples are bringing in to the marriage, the lesser the risk.
§ People who have more money, tend to be better at negotiation, are more cool-headed.
§ Don't get involded with people w/ money issues or are bad iwth money.
§ The higher the debt the couple has, the higher the risk of divorce.
○ Education. The higher the education, the lesser the risk.
○ Pre-marriage conciling helps to bring down the risk.
§ There you learn to difuse arguments before they blow up into fights.
○ If one spouse comes from a broken home (divorced parents), the risk increases with 50 %
§ And that's 200 % if that's applies to both the spouses!
○ Age difference: The risk declines, where the husband is between 2-10 years older than the wife.
○ Number of sexual partners: the lower the better (for women, no data for men).
○ Age at first sexual ecounter: the later the better.
○ Lowest divorse rates for Asians, then white, hispanic and then blacks (I assume he is talking about USA).
○ If you come from a big family, the lesser the risk.
§ Then she/you has learned social behaviour with both genders (your brother and sisters).


○ Marriage has others good affects, for your health, both mental and physical.
§ It's not fun to be single at 40-50 etc.
§ No one to share you stuff with etc.
○ Because the quality people has married and stayed married.
§ Just like the used-car analogy
§ Like a thrift-shop: everything in here is something that someelse doesn't want!
○ You get married when you are at your greatest value, and then you pick your best option w/ minimizing the risks.
§ Also divorce doesn't have to be bad.
§ Stefan had cancer, how terrible would that be if he had been single?
○ There are 30% higher risk of death for unmmaried single men.

○ And there is always risks of marriage, but there is risks of not getting married (like dying!, worse for the children, personal economy etc.).

Why the information is hidden
@ 1:07:15
○ He derails a bit here.

@1:45:00:
○ Marriage is the best interest for men, because with it he will get the highest quality women.
§ And it's best for his children.

@1:48:00:
○ Smart people understand, what was common wisdom in the old days.
§ Do I have to always be right in the now? And put everything at stake?
§ Smart people thinks long term.

@1:58:00
○ Stefan: In my experience the quality women are attracted to thrust, and low quality women are attracted to you with lack of thrust.
○ Kids of divorce are more sexually hightend, are more towards R-reproctive sexual strategy (where sex is apart from connection), while children from good homes are towards the K-strategy (sex with connecetion, long term, stable).
§ The short-term sexual strategy (R-strategy) is geared towards a life expectancy of 24.
§ That's what divorce does to the children.

@ 2:15:00
○ What was common wisdom in the old days, is welheld today. That's why so many have made bad decisions (single mothers, people having alot of sexual partners etc.).



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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:26 am 
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Just from what I skimmed, I thought you said he made good points. His points were pretty terrible and basically boiled down to him attempting to play on a man’s morality by telling men to get married because it’s the “right” thing to do. :lol: I’m not knocking you, though; if you want to get married then knock yourself out, but his points aren’t selling anyone critically looking at them.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:58 am 
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Let’s get to the heart of the matter, though. What suddenly caused you to take an interest in religion—which there’s nothing wrong with since I’m spiritual myself; however, your heightened fascination with religion is what ultimately caused you to use this guy as an example of the perks of marriage. He, overall, provided you with somewhat of a logical argument to desire to get married, despite how weak his arguments are.

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Smart people learn from their mistakes. Smarter people learn from others' mistakes. Stupid people don't learn from anyone's mistakes including their own.

You get what you deserve.


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 1:31 pm 
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I would suggest reading about the history of 'marriage', in depth.

Then look at contemporary evidence.

Make up your own mind.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:16 pm 
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The GK2 wrote:
I have been becoming more religious, and that is a major reason for the change of heart (more on that some other time).


Love letters to RichardDawkins :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW7607YiBso

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:31 pm 
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Everyone spotted it, but i stopped reading when you mentioned "religion".

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 1:06 pm 
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TheKing_65 wrote:
Just from what I skimmed, I thought you said he made good points. His points were pretty terrible and basically boiled down to him attempting to play on a man’s morality by telling men to get married because it’s the “right” thing to do. :lol: I’m not knocking you, though; if you want to get married then knock yourself out, but his points aren’t selling anyone critically looking at them.


That might very well be because my notes are more of a list of contents and does not go very deep, but I found his explanation of what K vs R-strategy means for the children, particularly insightful (obviously, that depends on if you want children or not).


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage, a new view
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 7:59 pm 
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TheKing_65 wrote:
Let’s get to the heart of the matter, though. What suddenly caused you to take an interest in religion—which there’s nothing wrong with since I’m spiritual myself; however, your heightened fascination with religion is what ultimately caused you to use this guy as an example of the perks of marriage. He, overall, provided you with somewhat of a logical argument to desire to get married, despite how weak his arguments are.
I commend you for your open mind. And on the religion part, I've answered in this thread: Update: I am becoming religious.


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