Rolan:
1. You don't talk to her about 'what's going in with you', i.e the emotional turmoil that her 'rejection' has caused within you, because it has nothing to do with her. It's yours to deal with.
So far that is what I've done ... not talked to her about any of it.
2. You don' tell her 'We could be more than friends' because a) This ain't High School, and b) That is their job. The man who they need you to be does not do this.
This is where I get lost. I'm supposed to not say what I want ... just clam up and let her run the show? Is this a 'method' being employed, like being/acting indifferent?
Reframe your mind, you won't understand what people are telling you until that happens.
That's why I'm here and bothering all of you, so I'm all in. Question then is, reframe if to what?
Goldenboy:
Lots of interesting stuff, essentially boiling down to saying what you want, but doing so from the right state of mind. What I had happen is based on past wounding or trauma, most likely. The obsession, if that's what it is, or limerence, or whatever the hell it is, was and is involuntary. THAT'S the current mindset. I get that if my mindset was one of power (for lack of a better word here) I probably could have said anything. The next step is to get to that mindset.
Re your first comment, the reason I didn't address it was simply that I didn't have any particular answer. It was so general, at least to me. I can't let it all go, that's why I'm here, and doing what I want to do caused some problems, I am not in my right mind, although this conversation had helped immensely. (I'll post in the intro section in a while, thanks for the request).
@Yudansha, lots of reasons, but mostly cause I think I could and probably would.
Especially if it came up naturally in conversation like the one you mentioned. Bait i'd have grabbed to grouse about how she's making me feel.
Oh, I COULD ... if might me nice to get off my chest, but I think the time to do it would be AFTER I am rid of the emotional reactions I had, or at least free of their power. "grabbed the grouse" ...? Can you explain that for me?
sniper: I realize that, for starters I have to read up on "x-factor." but as has been pointed out, I am obviously not hers.