Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:23 pm 
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Just came across this. Nothing new for us, but it's a refreshingly honest article from a woman. I'll explore her other articles more fully when I get a chance.

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/03/2 ... shit-test/
Quote:
Why We Shit Test
In my recent post NAWALT and You, one of the things I advised men to do in filtering out unworthy women was:

“Display a low tolerance for unattractive behaviors. Reward only desirable behaviors.”

This led commenter Dream Puppy to share an example from her own married life, one where she lobbed a massive shit test at her husband:

I’ll give an embarrassing anecdote from my stupid youth. When my husband and I were around the one month mark, we got in a stupid fight in our apartment. I cried, yelled, stormed out, and slammed the door. Hard.

And I waited for him to do what every single other person had ever done when I threw a fit like that. Come running after me- look for me- call me to see if I was all right…

so I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally after two hours. i got tired of walking around the park in a huff and went back home. He was on the computer.

I told him, “Um, didn’t you see me crying! You’re supposed to run after me! The guy is supposed to do that!!”

He said, “That is stupid. I am not running after you. Look what you did to the door. If the landlord notices, you are paying for it. Don’t be reckless again.”

“Um. Ok.”



Dream Puppy got exactly what she wanted in that exchange, which was to know that her husband could stand up to her emotions. She felt comforted, even relieved when he thwarted her attempt at control.
BTW, I fucking LOVE his response. :D
Quote:
A couple of days later, we hung out and he was back to his cheerful self, but now truly emotionally tethered to me. He gazed at me adoringly and told me how lucky he was to have found such a nice girl. He asked me for my photo, so that my face could be the last thing he saw before he went to sleep each night.

Here is what I said.

“I’ll give you a photo, but only if you do something first. You have to earn it. My favorite song is Band of Gold by Freda Payne. Tonight when you get into bed, turn on your radio. Promise me you won’t go to sleep until you’ve heard it.”

He promised.

The next day after school he came over and excitedly reported that he had stayed awake until 3 a.m., but that they had finally played the song. He’d been exhausted all day, but had done exactly as I asked.

I gave him the photo, and dumped him three days later.

At 14, I didn’t know enough to recognize and understand what I was feeling, other than the fact that I had completely lost attraction for him. He had leaned on me, hard, long before our relationship could sustain emotional intimacy of that kind, and he had signaled weakness. In my own mind, the cruel test I set up was really about giving him another chance. The only way he could have held onto me at that point was to call me out for being a manipulative bitch.
I really like this:
Quote:
If a demand strikes you as unreasonable or gratuitous, trust your instincts. We’ll like you better for it.
Offhand, i'd say this is a good criteria to use to help offset 'staunchness', although i'm in a hurry right now and haven't thoroughly thought this through. For my part, when I first got into this forum, I was paranoid about any and everything asked of my by a woman....

Another article by her that looks interesting: http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/03/1 ... t-and-you/

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:42 pm 
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Don't want to be applying ala Occam's Razor, TheKidd!! phrase.

but:

Treat them accordingly.

Also the trust your (instincts) gut, is good.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 10:19 am 
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Dali wrote:
Don't want to be applying ala Occam's Razor, TheKidd!! phrase.

but:

Treat them accordingly.

Also the trust your (instincts) gut, is good.
Oh yeah, Dali. Like I said, this is nothing new for us. But it's nice to see a woman saying it.

Posting a comment from her article http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/03/1 ... t-and-you/ purely for my benefit, as I really like it:
Quote:
Höllenhund
• 3 years ago

„The acronym NAWALT has its origin in the belief that women as a collective are complicit in the implementation of injustices against men during the last 40 years.”

I think your article, while pretty good, is incomplete because it doesn’t address the mentality responsible for this complicity that many men talk about. It’s been routinely observed that women are fundamentally herd creatures, followers who base their social status on the acceptance of other women. In other words, one of their greatest fears is social rejection, and for this reason they are very reluctant to „rock the boat” by openly stating their own views and questioning the motives, acts and beliefs of other women. This sense of sisterhood is probably a creation of evolutionary psychology in women i.e. they lived for long periods in all-female tight-knit social groups and depended on each other for many types of support (like childrearing) for hundreds of thousands of years.

This means that whenever a woman comes into conflict with a man for whatever reason, other women will instinctively side with her regardless of the circumstances – they always play for Team Vagina. Men have no similar sense of „brotherhood”. You don’t see any man saying NAMALT when the discussion is about a man’s deplorable act. They don’t feel they have a sense of common identity with him just because he has a penis. That’s why the MRM can never become the mirror image of the Women’s Movement, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing – life would swiftly become hellish for women if this was otherwise.

In fact, one reason feminism has become so popular among women is because it portrayed a gigantic historical conflict between men and women. Most women believed and still believe that if a movement is opposed by many men and is supported by many other women, it MUST be great. Add to this that feminism has become the dominant ideology of the West, and thus women, being conformists, follow it without wondering why. It has affected the minds of virtually all Western women.

This creates a situation where some women openly support feminism, the majority of women do absolutely nothing to oppose or question it, and a tiny minority criticizes it and then gets routinely mauled by feminist attack dogs. It’s also very telling that probably 95% of the women who question feminism only do so because they noticed that it has adverse effects on…women. I’m sure 90% of women don’t even know or care about the injustice men suffer due to feminism, and 90% of the rest believe they had it coming.

All in all, I can tell you that a woman will massively improve her status among men if she’s willing to openly and actively reject the anti-male behavior of other women and distance herself from such women. It’s a refreshing change.
Of course, his expectation/hope in the final paragraph is unrealistic, imo, for the same reasons he cited.....

_________________
"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:17 am 
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Thanks for the reminder :shock: oh how much I forget sometimes ...

:ugeek:

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