Some interesting quotes from PMT's thread about Refusing Platonic Relationships:
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I just don't meet any women. They don't show up in my life because I'm not very outgoing and I don't network very much. So, it's quite rare that I meet a woman who lives up to my standards and that I find attractive.
They don't show up in your life because your defense system has rendered you inflexible and you cannot see the wood for the trees. You're using some crude type of anti-gravitational tech and nothing will land because you won't allow it. It's the Planets that orbit the Sun, remember that. The the Sun still keeps them all at arm's length, but without the Suns gravity the Planets will no longer orbit the Sun.
It has little to do with being 'outgoing' or 'networking', but rather refining your inner world and therefore affecting your outer one with the odds in your favour. Difference between a Hoe and a Pimp? The Hoe networks and hussles all day, the Pimp sits back and orchestrates. Just like the Sun.
I really like this analogy of the sun and the gravity of the sun working on the planets in the solar system. (BTW Leo - I've been enjoying many of your posts recently.)
On this forum we definitely stress the "if you build it they will come" mentality, and don't focus on (or even actively discourage) actively doing things to get more women interested in you. Its the whole front/clout thing.
In the analogy, as the Sun, front would be like pulling back the shields that have been interfering with your gravity and preventing it from reaching as far as it can. And Clout would be like burning hotter to become denser and exert a stronger and stronger pull on those planets already within your solar system.
This sparked a connection in my head back to this very interesting thread on doing things for approval vs. for yourself:
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Here's a particularly interesting quote from Flow from that thread:
There is doing things out of a need for approval, and doing things because they have a specific result you want, even if you don't love the thing.
IE, maybe you really don't like to exercise, but you love the after effects of it, or what it brings to you (this could include how others treat you) so you deal with something you don't really dig for the desired effect.
There's almost always a bit of what some might choose to call 'doing it for approval' ie you don't show up 2 hours late for work every day because that would piss off the boss and get you fired, or doing the job at all, but you like the effect of money.
Then there's the spectrum of selling your soul and not even knowing what you want, basing all our decisions around hoping it will fit in or women will like it.
Unless you are the king of your country most balance these on some level and in my view, it is as long as you are conscious of what you are doing, and doing it specifically because it benefits what YOU want your life to look like in the bigger picture even if you don't love the thing.
So, another way to think about this is that there's Clout, which is all about doing things you love for yourself and becoming the shit at them. Then there's Front, which often ends up being more like what Flow lays out above - doing things that you don't necessarily love, but don't mind doing, simply because they help you get a desired outcome. How this gets emphasized on this forum is generally more passive - like dressing better so that you get more attention when you do go out. And as a result, that emphasis tends to make both these things ways to "build it so they will come".
Now, I think it would be interesting to discuss doing more active things. Put another way, front and clout as emphasized on this forum are both ways to make your funnel more efficient, so that women who you do come in contact with will be more likely to fall into your funnel and make it down and out the other side. But what about actively increasing the size of the funnel so that you can put more women into it? This goes back to the first PMT quote up at the top of this post about not meeting very many women. Leo responded with a comment about his internal state, and how that will affect how many women he meets, which I think was good advice, but that doesn't necessarily mean to me that the idea of actively working to put yourself in a position where you meet more women is a bad thing.
In the Sun analogy, this would be drifting you and your whole solar system closer to a big asteroid belt, where asteroids might start orbiting you and thus turn into planets.
This kind of thing does get mentioned occasionally (ie Kidd from the 'Environmental Factors' article: "If the environment you are in isn't conducive to pimpin', more often than not hoes are making runnin' thangs and can't no man say squat. If at all feasible, seriously consider moving.")
I'm not too familiar with what he teaches, but mostly second hand I have heard that Brent Smith's ideas about "being the mayor" are essentially this strategy. Like serving on the board of local charities, or going to $1 well drinks night at a bar and buying 20 drinks and handing them out to people (men and women).
Now I'm sure that someone is going to hop in with (or at least will want to hop in with), "buying everybody drinks at the bar is symping," or "being the 'mayor' is only one step above being a dancing monkey PUA." But I'm not convinced that those are
necessarily sympin/monkeying if done with the mindset that Flow laid out above.
So, I'm curious about what you guys think about actively trying to increase the number of women you meet by doing things that wouldn't necessarily be your first choice of things to do, but that you don't
mind doing.
Have you done anything like this? If so, what did you do, and what happened? How did it turn out for you?