Somebody doing things with no pretense? Especially a woman?
Clearly she's pretending something... but...
Not necessarily.
*******ANOTHER ONE OF MY RANTS IS ABOUT TO ENSUE. CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK.*************
We talk a lot about the manipulative side of women on this forum, and it is true as fuck......
But the situation Meraki is talking about could very possibly be genuine behaviour on her part. Growing up, I used to see women behaving in a similar way, to guys who were also - in one way or another - treating them as Meraki's housemate was. Rare occasions, sure - but unmistakable at the same time.
While I was never 'pimp tight' (still am not):
- I have a female friend who used to get together with her closest girlfriends and take me out to dinner for my birthday, every year. Admittedly she's my friend, but her friends didn't need to chip in, I don't think. I have never spent a single cent on her or her friends. NOT ONE CENT!
- A few years ago I told her that I enjoy hanging out with her & her friends, but 'dining out' is not my thing. She says "Cool." The following year, she takes me out to a movie for my birthday; pays for my popcorn, burger, drink, everything. Will not take no for an answer. This then becomes standard procedure.
- for the last couple or so years she has been seeing this dude as a steady boyfriend. Relationship is really serious. Does this prevent her from doing the 'movie thing'? NO. (This part is actually perplexing to me. Of course, it helps that he seems cool about it; he & I aren't best mates or anything, but we get along fairly well. I guess i'm not a threat  ).
- Every time she goes away, she just HAS to bring back something for me.
These things are small, I know; shit, her treating me once a year plus when she goes away is no big fuckin' deal. But again, I have never spent a cent on her!
When she & her girlfriends were doing the 'dinner thing' for me, they used to remark about the special treatment the waitresses would give me. I thought it was bullshit, but once they mentioned it to me, I noticed it. Sometimes the waitresses would even whisper advice to me about ordering particular dishes (eg "That one's overrated, some of the ingredients are cheap. Try this one instead.")
Hell, I was working in a remote island once where everything (even electricity!) was limited. It seems every little thing had to be shipped over from "civilisation". One morning at the place I was staying, I asked for pancakes; the waitress told me they didn't have all the ingredients (mainly flour, I think), so I had eggs instead. The following morning I asked for eggs again. She came back and gave me a plate with a fuckload stack of pancakes, and a bottle of syrup. I looked up at her, and she had the sweetest smile on her face.
As I become a better & better friend to myself, it gets worse (better! ). Was at a luncheon last weekend, and the women there (the host, but also some of the guests) kept handing me whatever I needed (and some shit I didn't need) - serving food onto my plate, getting me my drink, whatever I needed - rushing ahead of me to do it. I noticed that they weren't doing this for other guys there. (Cloaking time, I guess  ) It was actually a pain in the fucking ass - they wouldn't even let me get my own knife & fork! Fuck! Similar shit like this happens to me at random during my day (but not all of them). The fuckers seem like they don't want me to do anything for myself these days!
Bought a pair of jeans couple months back. Salesgirl (who also did the checkout) was more helpful than I would expect her to be, even bearing in mind that it's her job. Checkout time: got back more change than I expected. When I checked my bill, I got a 15% discount, but there was no discount advertised anywhere in the shop. She muttered something I couldn't make out, but I got a "just keep your fucking ass quiet about this" vibe, so I didn't press the matter. I have been in this store TWICE, and the previous time, she wasn't working there. Never talked to her before.
In my country, like everywhere else, guys complain about how women expect chivalry while treating men like shit, yet women hold open doors for ME. Now it seems old ladies want to get in on the act; the feeblest looking old ladies have been holding doors open for me, and smiling radiantly at me while doing so.
This doesn't happen all the time, and I am certain that it fluctuates with my own 'state' (Mirror......), and think it's directly related to Kidd!!'s 'Vibe Of Contentment' (I think that due to a certain amount of mental independence, I have always had some form of this 'vibe' throughout my adult life, but it was always compromised somewhat by self-doubt, as well as the manipulations of the ego.)
I could go on & on (actually, I have) about all kinds of shit women have (seemingly) randomly done for me over the years, and how it has intensified since I got acquainted with this site, but basically I am totally prepared to believe that the girl's behaviour in Meraki's story could be genuine, with no intention of manipulation. Yeah, the examples I gave were in non-sexual situations. Then again, I used to go out with a chick who would pay for pretty much everything (and she was a University student while I was working full-time), although our 'dates' were never extravagant. Sure, she could have been manipulating me to get me to take the relationship to the next level, except........
She was ENGAGED to another guy at the time! They eventually got married (I exited stage left at this point).
TBH, I think that:
1) not all women are out to fuck us over 100% of the time, but
2) most - if not all - will do so with pleasure and gusto to men who overvalue them (ie treat them special just 'cause they have tits), or display similar lack of character, but also
3) even if we don't overvalue them they will still try us at some point anyway, but
4) if we truly don't overvalue them (easy concept to get in the mind, but actions are a different story, btw), the projection referred to by peregrinus becomes unnecessary; actually, at this point it could very well dissolve of it's own accord.
5) yes, we know that they use pretense to manipulate the fuck outta guys. But once WE have our shit together, and also have our bullshit detectors properly calibrated, who's to say that some of 'em don't want to treat us well? Does the way they manipulate the average chode out there (who is ALSO trying to manipulate THEM, btw) HAVE to be a rule that applies to us? Across the board? Not necessarily. And it doesn't have to apply to Maraki's roomie either, in my opinion. Awareness of a behaviour is one thing. Expecting it at every turn is another thing entirely.......
(No judgement here - I still get very suspicious of them too, depending on my state of mind at the time, despite the observations I made above.....)
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