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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 11:21 pm 
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Projection GoldenBalls

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 12:51 am 
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Location: The side of a mountain somewhere...
GoldenBalls wrote:
She evidently did it to pussy him up and get accustomed to having a good housewife.

Then she would probably get fat, pregnant or pushing him to marry or get security by one means or another.

My question is if that happens to me, would I still let her in my life as a friend, a fuckbuddy, knowing her motives (or my thought of them) ?

As of today's opinion, I would get rid from jump of her coz I don't take advantage of someone (she doesn't really want to do it, so I'll spare her and myself some later drama). But that applies to everybody probably. (which probably explains my situation ... apathy ?)

I will ponder on this. :ugeek:
Definitely projection. In reality, they are still pretty much exactly as I described at the end. She still does all these super nice things for him, makes him dinner, will help him with literally anything he asks for her help on. He still keeps her at arms length, doesn't let her call him her boyfriend, etc. The $50 halibut dinners have dropped down to more like $30 steak dinners, but she still does a lot of that kind of stuff, spends quite a bit of money on him (even though she makes quite a bit less than he does), etc.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:00 am 
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Somebody doing things with no pretense? Especially a woman?
I knew I was projecting, doesn't mean I'm wrong though....
will still ponder

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:21 am 
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GoldenBoy wrote:
Somebody doing things with no pretense? Especially a woman?
I knew I was projecting, doesn't mean I'm wrong though....
will still ponder
Clearly she's pretending something... but...
Who cares what her intentions are, if you are clear and firm in your mind? To the most, she's only shadowboxing with you in her mind... (You can pluralize the gender on this paragraph)
All you can only do is observe their behavior and digest... As this Meraki friend is wisely doing.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 8:55 am 
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GoldenBoy wrote:
Somebody doing things with no pretense? Especially a woman?
Dali wrote:
Clearly she's pretending something... but...
Not necessarily.

*******ANOTHER ONE OF MY RANTS IS ABOUT TO ENSUE. CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK.*************

We talk a lot about the manipulative side of women on this forum, and it is true as fuck......

But the situation Meraki is talking about could very possibly be genuine behaviour on her part. Growing up, I used to see women behaving in a similar way, to guys who were also - in one way or another - treating them as Meraki's housemate was. Rare occasions, sure - but unmistakable at the same time.

While I was never 'pimp tight' (still am not):

- I have a female friend who used to get together with her closest girlfriends and take me out to dinner for my birthday, every year. Admittedly she's my friend, but her friends didn't need to chip in, I don't think. I have never spent a single cent on her or her friends. NOT ONE CENT!
- A few years ago I told her that I enjoy hanging out with her & her friends, but 'dining out' is not my thing. She says "Cool." The following year, she takes me out to a movie for my birthday; pays for my popcorn, burger, drink, everything. Will not take no for an answer. This then becomes standard procedure.
- for the last couple or so years she has been seeing this dude as a steady boyfriend. Relationship is really serious. Does this prevent her from doing the 'movie thing'? NO. (This part is actually perplexing to me. Of course, it helps that he seems cool about it; he & I aren't best mates or anything, but we get along fairly well. I guess i'm not a threat :lol: ).
- Every time she goes away, she just HAS to bring back something for me.

These things are small, I know; shit, her treating me once a year plus when she goes away is no big fuckin' deal. But again, I have never spent a cent on her!

When she & her girlfriends were doing the 'dinner thing' for me, they used to remark about the special treatment the waitresses would give me. I thought it was bullshit, but once they mentioned it to me, I noticed it. Sometimes the waitresses would even whisper advice to me about ordering particular dishes (eg "That one's overrated, some of the ingredients are cheap. Try this one instead.")

Hell, I was working in a remote island once where everything (even electricity!) was limited. It seems every little thing had to be shipped over from "civilisation". One morning at the place I was staying, I asked for pancakes; the waitress told me they didn't have all the ingredients (mainly flour, I think), so I had eggs instead. The following morning I asked for eggs again. She came back and gave me a plate with a fuckload stack of pancakes, and a bottle of syrup. I looked up at her, and she had the sweetest smile on her face.

As I become a better & better friend to myself, it gets worse (better! :lol: ). Was at a luncheon last weekend, and the women there (the host, but also some of the guests) kept handing me whatever I needed (and some shit I didn't need) - serving food onto my plate, getting me my drink, whatever I needed - rushing ahead of me to do it. I noticed that they weren't doing this for other guys there. (Cloaking time, I guess :roll: ) It was actually a pain in the fucking ass - they wouldn't even let me get my own knife & fork! Fuck! Similar shit like this happens to me at random during my day (but not all of them). The fuckers seem like they don't want me to do anything for myself these days!

Bought a pair of jeans couple months back. Salesgirl (who also did the checkout) was more helpful than I would expect her to be, even bearing in mind that it's her job. Checkout time: got back more change than I expected. When I checked my bill, I got a 15% discount, but there was no discount advertised anywhere in the shop. She muttered something I couldn't make out, but I got a "just keep your fucking ass quiet about this" vibe, so I didn't press the matter. I have been in this store TWICE, and the previous time, she wasn't working there. Never talked to her before.

In my country, like everywhere else, guys complain about how women expect chivalry while treating men like shit, yet women hold open doors for ME. Now it seems old ladies want to get in on the act; the feeblest looking old ladies have been holding doors open for me, and smiling radiantly at me while doing so.

This doesn't happen all the time, and I am certain that it fluctuates with my own 'state' (Mirror......), and think it's directly related to Kidd!!'s 'Vibe Of Contentment' (I think that due to a certain amount of mental independence, I have always had some form of this 'vibe' throughout my adult life, but it was always compromised somewhat by self-doubt, as well as the manipulations of the ego.)

I could go on & on (actually, I have) about all kinds of shit women have (seemingly) randomly done for me over the years, and how it has intensified since I got acquainted with this site, but basically I am totally prepared to believe that the girl's behaviour in Meraki's story could be genuine, with no intention of manipulation. Yeah, the examples I gave were in non-sexual situations. Then again, I used to go out with a chick who would pay for pretty much everything (and she was a University student while I was working full-time), although our 'dates' were never extravagant. Sure, she could have been manipulating me to get me to take the relationship to the next level, except........

She was ENGAGED to another guy at the time! They eventually got married (I exited stage left at this point).

TBH, I think that:

1) not all women are out to fuck us over 100% of the time, but
2) most - if not all - will do so with pleasure and gusto to men who overvalue them (ie treat them special just 'cause they have tits), or display similar lack of character, but also
3) even if we don't overvalue them they will still try us at some point anyway, but
4) if we truly don't overvalue them (easy concept to get in the mind, but actions are a different story, btw), the projection referred to by peregrinus becomes unnecessary; actually, at this point it could very well dissolve of it's own accord.
5) yes, we know that they use pretense to manipulate the fuck outta guys. But once WE have our shit together, and also have our bullshit detectors properly calibrated, who's to say that some of 'em don't want to treat us well? Does the way they manipulate the average chode out there (who is ALSO trying to manipulate THEM, btw) HAVE to be a rule that applies to us? Across the board? Not necessarily. And it doesn't have to apply to Maraki's roomie either, in my opinion. Awareness of a behaviour is one thing. Expecting it at every turn is another thing entirely.......

(No judgement here - I still get very suspicious of them too, depending on my state of mind at the time, despite the observations I made above.....)

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:00 am 
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Enjoyable post to read roark

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 12:42 pm 
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Nice post roark.

Will ponder more before posting.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:05 pm 
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Found this related post, for all to see :

Grinus on real men vs boys (it's not in your thread btw ... just sayin :mrgreen: )
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... t=20#p2237

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:07 pm 
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Thanks, 'Grinus. Fitting, since you have posted about this kinda stuff in the past, and it was these posts that helped me to make sense of what I described above.
GoldenBoy wrote:
Found this related post, for all to see :

Grinus on real men vs boys
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... t=20#p2237
Great catch, GB. That sums it up. Some more related shit:

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 838#p16903 - Kidd!! & 'Grinus talk about the same kind of shit I was referring to.

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 398#p13398

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... =274#p1799

And there's much more of the same on this site.....

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 6:31 pm 
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Location: The side of a mountain somewhere...
I agree with Roark.

I do think every relationship is based on a value exchange of some sort (like is often talked about on this forum). I however also believe that there are as many forms of "value" as there are people on this earth.

Maybe some guys here are a bit too hung up on the whole Manipulated Man style focus on trading pussy for the man's money/resources. And I don't deny that the pussy for money/resources trade is probably the most common. However, there are other forms of value that can be traded as well.

In the case of my roommate, I think when he made her move out, his level of manliness and therefore attractiveness shot through the roof in her eyes. We always want most what we can't have, right?

So now, since he always keeps her at arms distance, he is always that thing that she really wants, but just can't quite get her hands on since its just out of reach. The more he does that and the more consistent he is with it, the more attractive he gets in her eyes, and the harder she works to try and get it (hence the doing things and buying him things). She tried the standard manipulative route of asserting her dominance and playing the bitchy card, and that failed miserably (since it caused him to make her move out), so now she has swung far to the opposite end of the spectrum.

To sum up here's the value exchange that is the base of their relationship:

He gives her wet panties when she even just thinks about him because he is so attractive in her eyes.

She gives him all sorts of nice things and favors and supplication in order to try and get him to let her hang out with him and commit to her.

As long as he keeps her at arms length, I predict she will keep trying to do as much as she can for him in order to "keep him". That is until she decides that the value he gives her is no longer worth it, and who knows what could cause her to change her mind about the value of wet panties.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 11:23 am 
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Sex and companionship... haha cute :lol:
Next time scratch companionship out of the equation.
I thought you were becoming your own best friend :?:

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 11:44 am 
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Merrick wrote:
Sex and companionship... haha cute :lol:
Next time scratch companionship out of the equation.
I thought you were becoming your own best friend :?:
When a person becomes best friends with someone, it does not then follow that said person no longer enjoys or has use for other friends.

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-Thoreau's Walden


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:00 am 
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I've had strong convictions about some things for many years, and though I've missed out on many opportunities because of some of them, the benefits have always greatly outweighed costs.

However, my old conviction of not having platonic relationships with women has not and would not ever serve me well on the Path of Pimp Tightness. I failed to realize that such convictions are rooted in attachment to outcomes and neediness. I do not find this acceptable as it is not congruent with the person I want to be. As everyone said, it is far too staunch and rigid.

I also failed to treat others accordingly, specifically the girl in question. She extended a genuine invitation of friendship to me and I coldly cut her out of my life. Treating others accordingly is meant to address more than just second-class behavior; it includes rewarding positive behavior as well. She was kind to me, yet I was cold to her. Ironically, she was who ultimately treated me accordingly.
rant wrote:
The Pokemon Trainer wrote:
it's quite rare that I meet a woman who lives up to my standards and that I find attractive.
.
Why do you look for that? are we marriage now?.
This made me think about why I have "standards" the first place. I had fooled myself into thinking that I was showing myself "respect" by having discerning taste in women and the company I keep. I know now that these are merely defense mechanisms based in neediness and outcome attachment and perhaps fear of rejection.

For many years, I kept most people at a distance and had my eyes set on associating only with certain kinds of people. I had a long list of things that would disqualify others; an impossible set of standards. Why would I do that? To keep people out. Yet, the odd thing is that I already had friends that did not meet those expectations. And not only did I associate with them, I cared about them deeply.

I've decided that it's best for me to put down these barriers and remove all my expectations of others, and I can do just that now that I have a better understanding of them. Besides, if I truly treat others accordingly, then what difference does it make that a person behaves or looks a certain way so long as they are good to me and don't cause me any trouble? I've refused the company and friendship of others for ridiculous reasons, and I don't want to be that kind of person. I've sworn to live the most Epicurean lifestyle that I possibly can, and I should be enjoying myself too much to care about such trifles anyway.

I'm glad this shit went down because it has been an important learning experience for me. In fact, I'd say this is a major turning point for me on the Path of Pimp Tightness. I feel that the quality of my life is already greatly improving as a result.

Thanks to everyone who posted! Leo, Ahk and Flow were especially helpful, but everyone who has posted here has helped to contribute to my growth in a major way. I've carefully considered everyone's anecdotes and advice.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:08 pm 
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The Pokemon Trainer wrote:
Merrick wrote:
Sex and companionship... haha cute :lol:
Next time scratch companionship out of the equation.
I thought you were becoming your own best friend :?:
When a person becomes best friends with someone, it does not then follow that said person no longer enjoys or has use for other friends.
Fuck that man, not with GIRLS. They'll never be your friend, and you know it.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:29 pm 
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Merrick wrote:
The Pokemon Trainer wrote:
Merrick wrote:
Sex and companionship... haha cute :lol:
Next time scratch companionship out of the equation.
I thought you were becoming your own best friend :?:
When a person becomes best friends with someone, it does not then follow that said person no longer enjoys or has use for other friends.
Fuck that man, not with GIRLS. They'll never be your friend, and you know it.
Projection?

Perhaps this is true for you, but it hasn't always been the case for me.

There have been women in my life that have been there to help me through troubles and tough times at their own expense and detriment. Real friends.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:25 pm 
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Well yeah, same is true for me. :oops:
Projection & a little radical attitude at the moment.
I'd be lying if I said I did not have any female friends.

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