Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:30 am 
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Any South Park fans?

[ img ]

Sometimes you just need to look logically at what your beliefs are re: this topic and if it actually translates into reality.

1. I show no interest and do nothing with girls ever, I 'let go' of any feelings of wanting to be around them and take no proactive steps - even if she is practically eye-banging me, because "i'm not supposed to pursue"

2. ?

3. Somehow, we are having sex, somewhere.

Now, if your goal or desire is to truly not be interested or care about women at all, ie with the same level of not caring if you ever get front row seats as an audience member of "the view" -- then never having a #2 or #3 is not a problem, but that's not what you want so don't kid yourself. I don't know of anyone who really says #1 but it's how it gets interpreted a lot, and you get in a bad loop because your goal or model in your head doesn't even make sense.

There are certain steps that need to happen if you want to get a job or a gig or anything else in life- but, you can become really *good* and a valuable asset so that cats are calling YOU, and not grovelling for interviews. But you still have to answer the phone or show up to the gig. I think the good material shared, "be your own best friend" etc is for you - you feel good about you, the byproduct is you also becoming that valuable asset, you see the whole thing and play it on your terms with as much ease and flow as possible. You get to the point where they start 'calling' you - but if you don't pickup the phone or say "not interested," yes you're not chasing, yes you're even being offered (if you can see it) but you still will end up without a gig!

Make it as easy and fun as possible. If you truly don't want to play at all join a buddhist monastery or take a vow of celibacy and just go from there, don't burn somewhere in between the two.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:24 am 
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All part of the journey :)

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 5:19 am 
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I LOVE THE UNDERPANTS SONG!

Flow :shock: , if you could just check my youtube history, I was listening that that song this very morning. "there are no accidents"

love the analogy by the way 8-)

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:17 pm 
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Well thanks you cleared this up, I asked about this couple times and from replies thought that If I approach or talk to girl it's spacekilling and against this forum's philosophy.. I thought of it like Flow describes it and balancing the reciprocation factor...
But in the end, for me it goes the best if I let life let the girl get to me (if it's understandable), but that doesn't mean not innitiating contact, I just do what I want if it's not motivated by "If I do X she's gonna like me" bullshit
Actually I gave one girl space from all the shit she felt bad about in her life for a while - She happened to sit behind me on a party while everybody except us were eating, so I talked to her and as time flew by jocking was obvious - It may have been only momentarily but who cares, it was pretty cool, confirmed some stuff for myself, stuff I already knew but didn't believe, both from this forum and from my discoveries


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:11 pm 
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For what it is worth - I only give my phone #, I almost never initiate contact in terms of stuff like txting, in person I never do 'pickup lines' or any of that BS.. I will talk to people socially and address everyone more or less the same way *at first* - cordial, not outwardly showing interest unless it is shown etc. etc.

also, I am not some expert player or anything and that has never been my intention, but I am basically referring to reading the energy, being able to tell if the vibe is there and so on.. you have to be able to direct the energy the way you want to go. In my experience it can be as simple as your vibe, eye contact, simple physical contact, or a single statement that puts things on the table. Basically there needs to be some bridge between i'm being cool/chill, there's a vibe with the girl, now we get together. Yes some will be very aggressive and instigate it physically or verbally, but others will basically put it all out there energetically... all you need to do is something very simple and if you don't it just never happens, and there is no reason not to at that point.. if they are giving you an open layup just take it, they don't have to grab the ball from your hand and dunk it into their own basket.

There's cool / chill / indifferent guy who seems completely uninterested to the point where I have no chance with him and will very well get rejected if I do anything, and then there's cool / chill / indifferent guy where I can tell it is 'on the table' at least a little bit.. there's potential to chase or tension.. almost like there is space in both scenarios but there is some level of invitation to fill it or clue that it's going to be at least an adventure to fill it. This is also not something you have to "do" per se but seems to be a natural aspect of actually being chilled out vs TRYING to be.

In my experience you also shoot yourself in the foot if you have any special thoughts in your head like "stepping up" to a girl - it's just another human being in the room and if you want to speak you speak and be who you are. As soon as you put rules that you can't speak to a woman first or something you are just putting yourself in another limiting and unnatural box.

Again, this is speaking to my past experience and other guys i've known who have gone to the other extreme of doing *nothing,* even when girls are giving obvious signs of interest. There's also the "i'm getting signs of interest now" or girls are checking me out, my vibe is different etc but then nothing happens. There is still no step 2 of how you are actually then getting together and there is no real addressing of it.

This is miles away from saying it's free reign to be a dancing monkey or start chasing girls - but once the vibe is there or once you are being chased (which can be subtle) there's some intermediary step obviously and that requires something on your end, and a level of finesse. Also if you a travel a LOT like I do this can't always be some thing about building tension over time etc which I am not interested in even if i'm not traveling because it is unnecessary.

Interested to hear feedback / clarifications / wtf's from the more experienced :)

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:48 am 
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Flow83 wrote:
There's cool / chill / indifferent guy who seems completely uninterested to the point where I have no chance with him and will very well get rejected if I do anything, and then there's cool / chill / indifferent guy where I can tell it is 'on the table' at least a little bit..
My thoughts exactly flow...if you're completely uninterested then they take it as you don't like them. Give em some, but never more than they give you.

What I learned recently and sort of solidified within myself is the confidence these ladies be frontin most of the time is a mirage. As much as these ladies front their confidence a BIG majority of them are INSECURE (at least in college). Their confidence, in college at least (and I'm not talking for all ladies now), is based primarily on the external world; they get approached X times a day, or whatever assuming their attractive. They implant a belief consciously or subC that their worthy if someone else who doesn't even know them wants them. However, their downfall is once their looks diminish so do their confidence and worth. However, for us gents we have, or should be working (like myself) on having our shit on lock-down from within.

I theorized this after working on myself a bit and getting jocked a lot more than usual. At first I was feeling SUPERB. The external attention flooded my head quickly. As it does so greatly Life chewed me up and spat me out. I humbled myself and realized the workings of what was happening. Doing so made my interactions with females much "easier".
Quote:
In my experience you also shoot yourself in the foot if you have any special thoughts in your head like "stepping up" to a girl - it's just another human being in the room and if you want to speak you speak and be who you are. As soon as you put rules that you can't speak to a woman first or something you are just putting yourself in another limiting and unnatural box.
Also agree flow. You build up this picture when you look at a female as a "10". Yeah she's looking real good, BUT her shit stills smells like mine maybe even a little worst! :lol:
Quote:
I know you like to think your shit don't stank...
Watch Legends of the Fall and Tristen. It's a bit sad knowing how HARD I pursued PUA and pussy back in the day. It's alright cause I was young and naive. I could keep writing a lot more, so I'm just gonna stop. Flow as usual I enjoyed your comment.

EDIT: if you watch the movie which is posted in the movies section see how tristen does what he wants; its his LIFE. Do add there are many followers in this world, and very few leaders.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:10 am 
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TheDude wrote:
Watch Legends of the Fall and Tristen. It's a bit sad knowing how HARD I pursued PUA and pussy back in the day. It's alright cause I was young and naive. I could keep writing a lot more, so I'm just gonna stop. Flow as usual I enjoyed your comment.

EDIT: if you watch the movie which is posted in the movies section see how tristen does what he wants; its his LIFE. Do add there are many followers in this world, and very few leaders.
This is a fucking FANTASTIC example. Tristan was a pure pimp. Shit other than women was more important to him and he never pursued them, yet they all fell in love with him.

In the beginning Alfred was the king of the symps. BUT, when you see him at the end after the gunfight you could tell he didn't give a fuck anymore and he lost his neediness, you could see his entire vibe change.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:59 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
In the beginning Alfred was the king of the symps. BUT, when you see him at the end after the gunfight you could tell he didn't give a fuck anymore and he lost his neediness, you could see his entire vibe change.
Great breakdown...I wasn't aware of that! Makes all the sense in the world. Fool connected with himself and what was most important to hims at the end.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 3:07 am 
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When him and Tristan were at Sussana's grave and he said "I don't get it, I followed all the rules, man's and god's, you followed none and they still loved you more".

He just got sick of getting the shitty end of the stick and said fuck it, he wasn't looking for approval anymore.
Getting beat down your whole life can either drive you insane or give you an incredible amount of self-love.

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:05 am 
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...or huge amount of anger.

I need to watch this movie again.

_________________
Laying on the floor in a pool of blood and cum
My demons lay beside as I kiss them one by one
Then on that day I met a force that nothing will compare
I was born the son of evil when I fuck the devil there!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:25 am 
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BTW Flow83 I agree with you completely.

_________________
Laying on the floor in a pool of blood and cum
My demons lay beside as I kiss them one by one
Then on that day I met a force that nothing will compare
I was born the son of evil when I fuck the devil there!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:32 pm 
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Flow83 wrote:
Any South Park fans?

[ img ]

Sometimes you just need to look logically at what your beliefs are re: this topic and if it actually translates into reality.

1. I show no interest and do nothing with girls ever, I 'let go' of any feelings of wanting to be around them and take no proactive steps - even if she is practically eye-banging me, because "i'm not supposed to pursue"

2. ?

3. Somehow, we are having sex, somewhere.

Now, if your goal or desire is to truly not be interested or care about women at all, ie with the same level of not caring if you ever get front row seats as an audience member of "the view" -- then never having a #2 or #3 is not a problem, but that's not what you want so don't kid yourself. I don't know of anyone who really says #1 but it's how it gets interpreted a lot, and you get in a bad loop because your goal or model in your head doesn't even make sense.

There are certain steps that need to happen if you want to get a job or a gig or anything else in life- but, you can become really *good* and a valuable asset so that cats are calling YOU, and not grovelling for interviews. But you still have to answer the phone or show up to the gig. I think the good material shared, "be your own best friend" etc is for you - you feel good about you, the byproduct is you also becoming that valuable asset, you see the whole thing and play it on your terms with as much ease and flow as possible. You get to the point where they start 'calling' you - but if you don't pickup the phone or say "not interested," yes you're not chasing, yes you're even being offered (if you can see it) but you still will end up without a gig!

Make it as easy and fun as possible. If you truly don't want to play at all join a buddhist monastery or take a vow of celibacy and just go from there, don't burn somewhere in between the two.
Thanks Flow, this waked me up.

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:ugeek:


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