Natural Freedom

I come across this quite frequently. My interpretation is as follows:

a) If they stare while doing something extremely seductive, (lightly licking lips, etc.), then they are an attention whore and are only fucking with my mind for their own gratification.

b) If they stare and are rooted to the spot like a deer in headlights, they are mine to take if I so desire (for that moment, anyway). This is involuntary, animalistic attraction, totally beyond their control. They have no choice. If I maintain my awareness, I realise that I am also caught in this. I feel a very subtle kind of "energy" or "vibe" (don't know what else to call it) between us, where I feel compelled (at a primal level) to move towards them and take them right there on the spot, and they are compelled at that same primal level to stand there and submit to me, with no resistance. This, to me, is the most "natural" of these.

c) If they stare and smile in an overtly welcoming way. I see this as a combination of a) and b) above, albeit with a bit more a) than b).

Of course, there are varying degrees to this (and probably some other types that I have not yet encountered).

a (and c to a lesser extent) are turnoffs for me (a doesn't happen at all these days, but c happens to me very frequently). But b), when it happens, is a beautiful experience, but to be totally honest, it seems so intense that I have never followed through on it (memo to self: need to work on my sense of deservedness...)

I have not been returning any eye contact lately; I just look away (sometimes a little disdainfully). My recent observations (like the one I opened this thread with) have led me to a state of mild disgust over the amount of fronting that women do. Their fronting seems both counter-productive and childish, and my (admittedly also childish) attitude towards them is currently "well, if you want to place so many obstacles between yourselves and I, you obviously don't want or deserve someone of my standard". I see this as more post-red pill hostility on my part, and will just continue to observe what I am feeling and see if it evolves and/or dissolves.

In any event, my focus right now is still on simply observing and analysing - Kidd!! and 'Grinus are 100% correct in maintaining that we have to focus on who wants us instead of who we want (this makes sense on SOOOOOO many levels), and the issue therefore becomes one of being aware of the various subtle (sometimes almost imperceptible, although my first post in this thread shows that it's not impossible to pick these up) signs of attraction (as well as which ones are deliberate misdirection on their part), as opposed to "That chick is checking me out. I gotta strike while the iron is hot." You know, this is why women run circles around most men; most guys (even "players") are so totally blinded by the opportunity to lay a "hot chick" that they do not treat even ONE of their experiences as a learning opportunity. Therefore, whether symp or player, whether they get laid once or 100's of times, THEY NEVER LEARN ANYTHING.

Any clarifications or corrections to the above by the more experienced members of this forum would, of course, be welcome.

_________________
"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

One that I used to do a while back (don't do it that much these days fo some reason) was to position myself in such a way that they would have to turn to get a glimpse of me, even if they only use their peripheral vision. Eg I would sit behind them, but a little off-centre in relation to their back, and talk to someone else or do something totally unrelated to them. They would then turn quite frequently to catch a glimpse of me. Like I said, this glimpse would not be through their focus, but their peripheral vision i.e. even in the brief moment that they turn, they would not be facing me, but would be catching this glimpse through their peripheral vision.

Through experimentation over the years, I have come to realise that women have a peripheral vision that is MUCH MORE developed than that of men. This results in them having a DISTINCT advantage when it comes to "sizing up the opposition" (which is why I made an effort to improve mine long before I came across this forum - I will probably never reach their level, but still I would rather not be entirely clueless). My theory is that, for them, the downside to this is that they are so accustomed to this level of observation (and therefore knowledge, and therefore "power") that it frustrates the shit out of them when a guy they are attracted to is positioned in such a way that they are aware of his presence, but they cannot use their peripheral vision to get a "read" on him. Just a theory.

Now I come to think of it, anytime I have done something that cannot be figured out by a woman (whether or not she is attracted to me), she just HAD TO KNOW, even if it meant asking someone; even if it meant eventually outright asking me. Hmmmmm.... maybe for most women, knowing what is REALLY going on gives them a feeling of power, while for most men, THINKING that they know what is going on gives them a feeling of power......

Anyway, I used to try to tell other guys that by the time they have noticed a woman that they are attracted to and have decided to "make a move", she has already been carefully but inconspicuously observing them for a looooong time, and so any lines they use or act they put on will be a waste of time anyway. But steak-eaters never listen, so I don't bother anymore......

_________________
"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

Thanks for the reply Roark.
It seems that in my case mostly b) is happening. Not very often though... It happens maybe only once a month. Or maybe I am just not paying attention very well...
I don't feel compelled to move towards them though. Because, to be honest, it scares the shit out of me!!! Something I have to work on probably.
This is actually backed up by science. I once saw a drawing/graph of the peripheral vision of men and women, and the difference is quite big.

_________________
"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

Yeah, I did read that! But you also wrote: I don't even know if I feel that, I guess it just confuses me... I don't know what to think about it. I don't know if it even is attraction.

Well, whatever... maybe I shouldn't even think anything about it or try to figure it out. It's probably best to keep my mind empty at all times, even when a girl stands there staring at me

I have to say the few times b) was mutual was beautiful. The connections were fantastic. Me being me and inexperienced I either went over board or became too reserved. One girl recently was madly attracted to me. We hit off very well. One day she came in and started talking to other guys. Yeah what a shocker. I had no idea what to do. We hit off well together alone in work. (I work in a multi room clothing store.) I just ignored her. She asked me later that night why I was ignoring her. I lied, I couldn't tell her how I clueless I was. I wish I had the confidence to be brutally honest and not care about the outcome or just sidestep altogether. If I don't want to tell her I don't have to.

Now the girls it happens to I usually like to I think maybe fear and mind games mess me up. Like looking away trying to act like I'm better. Other times I just feel awkward. Maybe inadequacy is the source of the awkwardness.