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Advice wanted - friends with benefits
http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2836		 Page 2 of 2
Author:  GoldenBoy [ Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
peregrinus wrote:
Disclaimer: Not aimed at Goldenballs
:lol: You really hit the nail on the head with this nickname, you know that right :lol:
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Quote:
So you're saying that a man can reverse the dynamic ANY TIME if HE REALLY FEELS LIKE IT ?
Of course you can...but to have to be unattached to the outcome of course...your average guy never does this because he's afraid of losing the bitch. :geek:
Author:  GoldenBoy [ Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
The Kidd!! wrote:
Quote:
So you're saying that a man can reverse the dynamic ANY TIME if HE REALLY FEELS LIKE IT ?
Of course you can...but to have to be unattached to the outcome of course...your average guy never does this because he's afraid of losing the bitch. :geek:
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 1891#p1891
The Kidd!! wrote:
It was at that moment that I then knew that men, not women are the prize...we've just let women socially condition us into thinking other wise. Fact: There are more women on this planet than men. Once I fully absorbed this concept, it changed my whole mindset and overall approach to women.
:mrgreen:
Author:  Altair [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 5:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
This is why indifference is so key. There's lots of insights in your post.

They play a lot of games, some of them are very subtle and you might consciously miss them. But it doesn't matter because you don't care.

Oh was I supposed to be jealous there? My bad didn't even notice lol, lost in my own thoughts.

"A real pimp is his own best company" Iceberg.
Author:  Meraki [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Flow83 wrote:
Quote:
So, going forward, we'll see if she contacts me this morning to find out why I left abruptly without saying goodbye
Sounds like you might be a bit eager for this to happen, to use it as a chance to prove a point (I think it's more to yourself than to her, based on what else you said,) deliver a great response, prove a victory etc..
Flow - I can see how you could interpret that, but don't worry. I'm not eager for it. It was much more of a curiosity thing. She didn't end up contacting me, btw.
The Kidd!! wrote:
DO NOT REACH OUT TO HER...in fact, ignore her first 3-5 attempts to contact you...let the space drive her imagination wild.
Reach out to who? What girl are you talking about again? ;) :twisted:
Grinus wrote:
Nice, you were finally being honest to yourself.
Thats probably the biggest thing I realized from this. I felt immediately more comfortable/happy as soon as I started being honest with myself and doing what I wanted to do/not doing what I didn't want to do. I felt better walking back from the bar on my own than I did the rest of the night. ("A real pimp is his own best company" Iceberg. - Thanks Morph)
Author:  Meraki [ Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Well, that was fast. Got a text from her today about friday night:

"Sorry I ran out Friday night! Just had to get away. Thanks for coming out to celebrate my bday!"

Not sure if she left before or after I did. My understanding was that she went to the bathroom, but I didn't see her after that, so maybe she snuck out. She is doing one of 2 things here:

1) She actually did leave when I thought she was just in the bathroom, and her text is honest.

2) She didn't leave, and when she came back I was gone, but she's trying to play it as if she left before me, since I have no way to know whether she did or not. This would of course make it appear that I was in a sympier position of waiting around for her to come back when she had left.

Either way, doesn't matter. Not responding to her.
Author:  Altair [ Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
You should trust the force on this one 8-)

Your initial impression is the right one :ugeek:
Author:  peregrinus [ Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Meraki wrote:
Either way, doesn't matter. Not responding to her.
Good.

In my view her text does not warrant a reply, it is a statement.
Author:  macaco [ Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Hey Meraki, did anything more happen with this one? Just curious...
Author:  rekieter [ Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
The Kidd!! wrote:
Quote:
So you're saying that a man can reverse the dynamic ANY TIME if HE REALLY FEELS LIKE IT ?
Of course you can...but to have to be unattached to the outcome of course...your average guy never does this because he's afraid of losing the bitch. :geek:
you sir, are a gentleman and scholar.
Author:  Mikey swag [ Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
macaco wrote:
Hey Meraki, did anything more happen with this one? Just curious...
Yeah I'm kind of curious too :D
Author:  Meraki [ Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Hey guys,
I've been away from the forum for a couple weeks doing quite a bit of inner work, but I can give an update. Its kinda interesting too.

Basically, she texted again later that week, just another inane text with a simple statement in it. Don't remember exactly what she said, but I didn't feel a need to respond.

So, after I didn't respond twice, she went back home to the east coast for the holidays, and she just kind of faded into the background. I didn't contact her at all, and then on christmas I came down with the mega-flu and was sick for two weeks, lost a bunch of weight, etc, and basically had forgotten about her except for seeing an occasional facebook post/photo of her's pop up in my news feed, and I saw her at a big party, said hi, but nothing else.

Then, about a week ago, one of my best buddies tells me he's been facebook chatting with her for a few days, and he wanted to know if it would be alright to ask her on a date. He's a nice guy, but a bit too much of a pursuer. He already knew where I was at with her (we talk to each other about our dating lives several times a week since we see each other every day), and that I wasn't going to seek any interaction with her unless she contacted me and asked me out on a date.

So he goes on a date with her, and then invites her over to his house to cook dinner/watch a movie a couple days later, but he said he felt like on neither occasion was she really that into it, and they didn't kiss or anything. He just left on a business trip for a couple weeks, and before he left he told me that he felt like there was very little chance of it going anywhere and he had pretty much given up on it.

Now here's the funny part, that same day that my buddy told me that his dates with her had fizzled, I see on facebook that she went in and liked the past 4 or 5 photos that I posted. Coincidence? Me thinks not. In return, I liked one link she posted (that I did actually real-life like).

So, we'll see what happens. My feelings about this are that I really don't care, but I'll return serve if she throws something my way. If it gets to the point of us conversing then I always have the trump card on her that she needs to do something to make it up to me for "running out" on her birthday...
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
...so!...now tell us about the chicks you've actually been banging. 8-)
Author:  Meraki [ Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Meh. Haven't been.

I've just been working on myself pretty much non-stop since just before christmas. I've been going pretty deep on the inner stuff, uprooting some very very deep-seated behavior patterns and fundamental beliefs. Ones that I've carried with me since I was very young, and are pervasive and affect every aspect of my life, not just interacting with women.

I'm starting to get the inkling of the light at the end of this tunnel though, so who knows whats coming up next. :-)
Author:  Meraki [ Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice wanted - friends with benefits
Oh man, I just saw Roak's new signature, and it hit home so hard to what I've been feeling the past month +
Roark wrote:
"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"
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