Message her back with, "Sure
"..and THAT'S IT.
Then forget about it...she'll do the rest of the work from here on out...and when I say forget about it, I really do mean to PUT IT COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND.
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| Girl http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2576 |
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| Author: | foofatron [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 5:21 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Girl | |
A girl I used to have a thing with recently messaged me on fb after like 7 months. I hadn't seen her for like a 2 month span in the summer. I see her time to time. Last night I was glancing toward her to see if she was looking she was a few times. She seemed different and open to me. She moved toward me, to a room I was in or near me a few times. Before she said she wanted to be friends, but still hang out, talk, and whatever. I was really needy and insecure with her. I thought she was avoiding me, I've been fine without her. If she wanted to talk to me I would've at least responded. Not sure what she thought was going on. She's friends with a lot of my friends. She met most of them through me. Or at least I had some help. Like getting her invited to go somewhere with a mixed group. I think she would've still made the same friends without me. I've thought maybe she feels she needs to be cool with me so she can be cool with the group and she doesn't have to like hide. We usually don't come around each other. By groups I should say groups that are all connected like a Venn Diagram. My thoughts: Friends? I'm not texting first or responding much or hanging out outside a group. Much time invested? Nah Message:
Hi, Look I know its weird with everything that happened.. And I honestly didn't want it to be like this. I don't hate you and I still want to be friends and like talk. So I'm sorry if I hurt you or anything. And can we be friends again? If not thats okay!
She still sees value she wants. I have to respond or else I'll get a bad rap. Having her as a friend is against my attraction. ^How to say so in an acceptable way?
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 5:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
Message her back with, "Sure "..and THAT'S IT. Then forget about it...she'll do the rest of the work from here on out...and when I say forget about it, I really do mean to PUT IT COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND.
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| Author: | Flow83 [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 6:16 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | |
Message her back with, "Sure
PLEASE do exactly what he said."..and THAT'S IT. Then forget about it...she'll do the rest of the work from here on out...and when I say forget about it, I really do mean to PUT IT COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND. All types of trying to 'make a point' or show that you stand for blah blah in situations like this inherently demonstrate the exact opposite of the power you're trying to communicate. Sometimes you have to communicate that you're completely cool and don't give a shit first, and then work on making sure that's actually true. That's OK as long as you follow through 
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| Author: | foofatron [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
Done. I've noticed making a point never works. Actually I don't care that much. I do however care somewhat. |
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:41 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | |
Done.
That's fine...it's human to care. Have the discipline not to show it. I've noticed making a point never works. Actually I don't care that much. I do however care somewhat. 
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| Author: | fufe [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:46 pm ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | ||
Done.
That's fine...it's human to care. Have the discipline not to show it. I've noticed making a point never works. Actually I don't care that much. I do however care somewhat. |
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| Author: | Flow83 [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
Nice. Big distinction between not showing it and actively trying to show like you don't give a shit, which is the beauty of that response. Yeah man, caring is totally natural and human. There's nothing funnier than those conversations where someone is talking about something for 15 minutes straight and saying "whatever, I don't care" every 2-- I've never seen trying not to care work. My experience is that when you honor it and explore it, you will find that what you actually care about is something deeper than the surface situation. What you care about represents something to do with worth, value, power, etc -- all things that she can never give you, that you can only give yourself.. that realization is the pathway to freedom, not an absence or dismissal of caring. |
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:54 pm ] | |||
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | |||
Done.
That's fine...it's human to care. Have the discipline not to show it. I've noticed making a point never works. Actually I don't care that much. I do however care somewhat. 
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| Author: | fufe [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 9:00 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | |
Women can't see that you care if they can't see you.
That's a good point. What about situations where they can see you ?
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| Author: | Rolan [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 9:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
Wish I read this thread a month ago  I have learnt, that when it comes to women, less is is soooo much more. Whether they are testing you, or especially in situations in which you may feel forced to defend yourself. Never defend yourself, only deflect. |
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 9:30 pm ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | ||
Women can't see that you care if they can't see you.
That's a good point. What about situations where they can see you ?
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| Author: | Sai [ Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
"when there is no enemy within, there is no enemy outside" "master yourself, then you can master others) |
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| Author: | peregrinus [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 11:00 am ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | ||
Hi, Look I know its weird with everything that happened.. And I honestly didn't want it to be like this. I don't hate you and I still want to be friends and like talk. So I'm sorry if I hurt you or anything. And can we be friends again? If not thats okay! So much in this one simple message. |
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| Author: | foofatron [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
Think I'm skipping fb this week. Got an email from fb that she responded not gonna look. I'm going to use fb again, not responding as of now, but is that what you meant Kidd!? Should I only respond if she comes up to me in person and asks why I haven't responded? |
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:56 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | |
Think I'm skipping fb this week. Got an email from fb that she responded not gonna look.
You can be polite...just take your sweet time responding, keep it short, sweet and indifferent. Don't initiate and only respond...and heed your gut...it'll never lead you wrong. I'm going to use fb again, not responding as of now, but is that what you meant Kidd!? Should I only respond if she comes up to me in person and asks why I haven't responded?
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| Author: | Star_Above [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:41 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | |
You can be polite...just take your sweet time responding, keep it short, sweet and indifferent. Don't initiate and only respond...and heed your gut...it'll never lead you wrong.
This is a magical formula! You almost sound like you know what you're talking about ShitWolf
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:08 pm ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Girl | ||
You can be polite...just take your sweet time responding, keep it short, sweet and indifferent. Don't initiate and only respond...and heed your gut...it'll never lead you wrong.
This is a magical formula! You almost sound like you know what you're talking about ShitWolf
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| Author: | Dali [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 2:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
I somehow remember this charcter of the AMC series Breaking Bad, Gustavo Fring, when I thought the kind of politeness TheKidd!! talks. ![[ img ]](http://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/breaking-bad-gus.jpg)
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| Author: | foofatron [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
Wants to know if I would want to go to her party in 2 months. Tell her maybe might be busy? A hard question for me. Nothing planned that far and asking me if I want to. |
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| Author: | Resonance [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl |
For her to ask you now with it being so far out she's on your nuts hard son. Great call on your response |
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