Alright I can't seem to edit so I'll repost with better grammar.
I've read a lot on this form. I've looked at GP Walsh's balls project and looked on the attraction institute blog.
I don't need women however I feel the need for deeper relationships. I don't talk much and I want to be more open and be able to talk to anyone. I suppose that I'll have connections with some people and not others, good days talking to people and bad days.
I want to be free from fear and insecurity. I may seem fine at home yet fear still seems to come up. Why? How do you truly become indifferent and confident when the rubber hits the road. I'm fine in some situations.
The girls around seem to require me to put myself in proximity by like talking to people around them then to them. Or talking to them first. They don't seem to really pursue me, some do show interest like they pursue me a little bit, but I don't really like them so... Wondering how I might find a girl I'll like and wouldn't mind if things went further. Really don't know any girls atm that I want other than just beauty. Is indifference just a choice and not a feeling?
Looking at the same sentences Sniper highlighted--
Indifference doesn't mean all fear goes away or that you no longer have emotions. "Fear" is often a label or interpretation of the energy that comes up and some can take the same thing and call it excitement.
Indifference in the useful sense we are referring to, definitely as from GP's video, is more of a *knowing* than either a choice or a feeling. You will still have feelings- but you have a *knowing* that your happiness and peace does not depend on the outcome of the situation so it takes most if not all the edge off of the situation so you can move forward and talk / do your thing anyway. If you are still equating rejection, making a fool out of yourself, doing it wrong, etc. with death (this is something ingrained and not a conscious choice) it's going to be heavy.
Stressing one more time that indifference does not mean none of those feelings are ever there -- feelings come and go constantly.
You can remove some of the 'triggers' that spark intense fear and indifference can emerge from this.
No quick fix, but the right tools and proper understanding make the whole thing much much of a smoother journey.