Natural Freedom

hey Kidd and Grinus,

Although I already had great success I want to sharpen my skills a little more (and learning more is always a great thing...)

Anyway, when you go out on a first date with a woman that you don't know, do you have any topics or questions that you ask\talk about in order to make it more interesting?

note:
I don't care if there are silences, I'm not trying to entertain the woman, I'm not attached to the outcome.

I just want some general guidelines.... There are the regular questions (where do you study, where are you working, where did you grow up and etc....) but are there any specific questions that you guys are using to make it more interesting?

Anyone else besides Kidd and Grinus I'd also love to hear your thoughts as well...

all advise is welcomed

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

She asks me the questions.

From what she asks, I usually have more than enough material to work with in talking to her, also giving her more to ask/talk to me about.

The questions she asks will tell you a lot about her, also give you some questions, should you want to ask.

If you build up the intrigue prior, she will have questions that are eating her up.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

wait a minute, I understand but at the same time:
If she starts asking me questions about myself: wouldn't it kill the mystery?

I want to remain mysterious - that is attractive

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Where did I say that she would get answers to her questions?

You can respond to questions in various ways, only some lead to answers.

For example, what she asks may cause me to ask a question about her question, why she asked it, why it interests her.

Her question may remind me of something else, which I will talk about.

Or I may part answer a question, while still leaving big gaps, together with leading her down a path somewhere else.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Oh I see, thank you Grinus

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

There are focal points to questions and statements.

I keep shit real formal. I laser into to the focal point of her statement and make an assumption, ask a question, or repackage what she said back to her in a way that forces her to reveal more about herself.

Sometimes I'll engineer the conversation to topics that I like and want to hear about through mentioning something that reminded me of what she was talking about.

Sometimes when I decide to break formality, rarely, I ask questions that have to do with how she grew up.

You'll easily talk through 15 minutes to 4 hours on that topic alone, and you'll get her entire life story, half of the things you should know about her to be effective.

More importantly, you can get all the information you need through assumptions, questioning focal points, repackaging things she's said, and engineering topics.

Don't forget to make sure that you lay down your contract, your expectations, your vision/goals/dreams, your principles.

The contract and your principles are a must should be voiced in the first two to three times you speak before she starts making assumptions.

Repackage her values in a way that benefits you. Find out what she does and can do for you, and repackage what she can do for you so that she knows how she can put in effort to get you.


Edit: This post was way too long. Also, I'm formal because that allows her to choose me. I either let her move the conversation deeper, or I take the conversation deeper a very slow pace.

Being really good at conversing on formal topics, while dropping your contract and principles so she knows how to act early on, is a great skill.

thanks rkd, this is helpful as well

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

don't forget to just have fun and have a light chat too.

Sometimes I forget to do that shit because I like getting to the good part.