Natural Freedom

Hey guys, curious to hear what some of you might have done in this situation.

Lunchtime, sitting in the city centre next to a fountain. This is usually a pretty busy area where people will come and eat their lunch sitting on the benches and low walls, but at this time it’s pretty quiet, and there aren’t many people around.

Girl walking in my direction, comes over and sits only a few feet away from me, despite there being a ton of other places she could have sat with no other people around. She’s not doing anything, no lunch, just sitting there listening to her iPod.

I glance across once or twice, and although she’s kinda facing my direction, she’s looking more across me so there’s no eye contact. The whole time she’s still got her earphones in listening to music.

Just wondering what, if anything you would have done.

I usually do in such a type of situation. Make eye contact, and nod my head (possibly saying "hi"). How she responds to that, will make me decide if I continue it or not.

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There is no individual doer of any action or deed. Yet deeds are done and actions happen.

Yeah, that would've been my usual reaction. The thing was, although my spidey-sense was tingling and I definitely felt that this girl was there for a reason, she didn't hit eye contact with me, which meant that I would've had to just talk over her music.

Of course I could've mis-read the situation. But I don't think I did.

Your gut is never wrong.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

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Yep, agreed. I consider myself pretty good at knowing when a girl's into me just from the feeling.

Going back to the question though, I've always considered trying to talk to a girl with headphones on a bit of a needy, PUA kind of thing to do. If there's some eye contact first, no worries, but without that initial connection it feels off to me.

That is because it is 'off'.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.