you don't love anything Alchemist?
I love things by having a positive appreciation for them.
I won't die if I lose these things though.
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| Love doesn't exist http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1298 |
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| Author: | Alchemist [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Love doesn't exist |
It's been said here that if a girl says she loves you, she actually means she loves the way you make her feel, this is becoming clearer to me now. Whenever I hear it I don't believe it, recently I've developed a cynical attitude about it and what I thought was a natural emotion feels like a lie now, I know all that the media dishes out about this is nothing but lies, because I've been convinced of this illusion for so long part of me was still hoping that something similar could exist in real life but it really doesn't, the emotion feels real but it isn't, I don't know what to make of that. That Iceberg Slim quote comes to mind now thinking about it. |
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| Author: | fufe [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
I've come to think about this too. And I think almost the same like you.. But I keep asking myself, if there is some unviersal undoncitional love, or it is a myth too. |
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| Author: | diego [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
We've talked about it before. Unconditional love doesn't mean that another person is bound to a relationship or allow takig shit or whatever type of undesired behavior from their partner. You can still love the person in a Mother Theresa type of way, but that doesn't mean that any shit flies. Really it's like making a contract. Both parties have to fulfill their part otherwise, there is no deal or relationship. You are both required to share and there are other certain conditions that people value like respect, attention, physical intimacy, etc. Basically, both people in the relationship have to get some value out of the relationship. If there is no value for you or her, either emotional, physical or spiritual then you so call it quits. A girl can go from telling you she loves you one day, and dropping your ass the next day because of perceived value. In this case her love is not for who you are, rather what the idea of you represents to her. |
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| Author: | Alchemist [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:50 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist | |
A girl can go from telling you she loves you one day, and dropping your ass the next day because of perceived value.
I fully agree with this and my gut's telling me that her feelings are genuine but considering the fickle emotional nature of women I know that's subject to change, also considering how we started out I know it wouldn't end well and I'd get the short end of the stick on that deal so I'm not taking it any further than what we have now.
In this case her love is not for who you are, rather what the idea of you represents to her. |
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| Author: | rant [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
her nature is to die for you |
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| Author: | Sai [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
you don't love anything Alchemist? I love things by having a positive appreciation for them. I won't die if I lose these things though. |
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| Author: | fufe [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
But isn't common love only appreciation of value, Prodigy ? |
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| Author: | Dali [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
I think we need to be more specific, is Love in the terms of SOCIAL MATRIX. Romantic love and all that crap society tell us IS TRUE LOVE.  Borrowing some terms from Erich Fromm, The Art of Love: "Motherly Love is unconditional" My opinion: because it's BIOLOGICAL. (Protect, Survival, maybe has some spiritual tie too) "Fatherly love is conditional" My opinion: It's more like a male energy, of expectation of others; you have to earn it and it has a BIOLOGICAL purpose too. (1st Contribute to your clan, the you have at least a Survival for a while) |
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| Author: | Sai [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
ah, that's why I say Positive Appreciation. the average Man just loves a woman bcuz she is pretty and he can use her as some type of trophy. reasons as to why it usually fails, and he continues Negative associations to women which in turn makes him suffer more. but positive association gives a better appreciation. there are women who will Genuinely love you, it's up to you to not have your defenses open to attacks when they come. |
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| Author: | diego [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
I agree with you prodigy in the sense that there are women who may genuinely love you. However, relationships are based on conditions being met. Even though a person might tolerate bad behaviors or not getting what they want for a while, if it is sustained then the relationship doesnt work and will probably end (for healthy individuals). This recognition is not about being defensive, but rather about not schewing reality to make it seem that just because a woman genuinely loves you, it's unconditional. This realization also helps to stop looking for that unconditional love from others. |
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| Author: | scarface [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
My defention of love is: "Love is there, when I do something for someone without expecting anything in return." It rarely happens in the context of a relationship, since usually in a relationship many things are expectated/wanted in return (possitive attention, good feeling, money, (regular) sex, exclusivity, etc.). |
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| Author: | Sai [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
oh, it's conditional, I believe it. |
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| Author: | Alchemist [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
Well this girl didn't consciously know she was attracted to me until she saw my potential (which opened that door), thinking about that started the chain of thoughts that demystified the whole concept of a girlfriend/wife/partner etc. for me, it's all bullshit.... An open relationship is probably the closest thing I could agree to that isn't completely full of shit. |
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| Author: | Sniper [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
love between a man and a woman or between friends is nothing more than an exchange of values. Once there is no value the 'love' is gone. We already talked about it a lot here: http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=899 I beleive in universal\spiritual love but it's not between a man and a woman and it's hard to achieve it. I think people like the dalai lama have achieved it but there are not many like him. |
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| Author: | Sniper [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:58 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist | |
If a girl says she loves you, and she is genuine in that she does feel love, then she has allowed herself to feel this love
wrong. When a girl says she love you what she loves is the value that you bring to the table. 
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| Author: | Alchemist [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
Thanks for your input guys, I guess the crappy feeling I have right now is because I hadn't completely accepted the fact that it's actually a perception of value and the truth is just coming to light, that it's not as sweet as I always believed it would be. |
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
No...Spaceman is correct. He is speaking from HER perspective...and from where SHE is sitting, it's love. 
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| Author: | fufe [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist |
What if it's supposed to be like that, exchange of values, but people romanticized it too much ? I'm thinking rather, If it could be enjoyed without attachment, knowing the nature of it. |
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| Author: | peregrinus [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:11 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist | |
If a girl says she loves you, and she is genuine in that she does feel love, then she has allowed herself to feel this love because she deems you worthy of love.
Well put spaceman.When she no longer deems you worthy of love she cuts it off within herself, leading her to believe she is no longer in love with you. But she was never in love with you, she just allowed herself to feel Love because, in her mind, you were the reason to allow this love. - Women accept this may be a temporary state. Sadly a lot of men do not, they think it is permanent. When you are no longer the reason to allow it, it will not be there anymore. It is down to you as a man. |
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| Author: | Sniper [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:14 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Love doesn't exist | |
No...Spaceman is correct. He is speaking from HER perspective...and from where SHE is sitting, it's love.
sorry Kidd I didn't understand what you meant. Could you explain? Are you saying that 'what she loves is the value that you bring to the table' is not true? |
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