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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:32 pm 
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I'm also doing this to make it easier for her also.

One small aspect that helped and helps me somewhat, as well.
To feel less anxiety/nervous for being social and going up to a girl/women, and for feeling less anxiety/nervous for initiating some physical contact.

One day I asked myself. Why do I go up to/approach a woman?
My first obvious answer was: Because I think she looks attractive + I'm in the mood for it.
Then I asked myself, is there another reason?
And I noticed for me there was. The other reason for me came in forms of questions like: "What if she likes me on first sight, but doesn't dare to/know how to approach me? What if she likes me and is sending invites/signals that I don't see/register/notice/to subtle to notice for me?
So the reason I also approach/start a conversation with a girl, is to make it easier for her to show her interest (if she has it).

One day I asked myself also. Why do I start physical contact with a woman?
My first obvious answer was again: Because I think she looks attractive + she has responded positive to and in the conversation + I'm not turned off by her personality + I'm in the mood for it.
Then I asked myself, is there another reason?
And I noticed for me there was, again one. The other reason for me came in forms of questions like: "What if she likes to kiss/have sex/get physical with me (also), but doesn't dare to make that move? What if she likes to get physical with me and is sending signals that I don't see/register/notice/to subtle to notice for me?
So the reason as well I start/initiate physical contact with a girl, is to make it easier and more comfortable for her to start touching/getting physical with me (if that is what she wants).


The reason I think it helped me to be a bit less nervous/anxious; for striking up conversation and starting getting physical with a women is.
That before (from pua days) I adopted the believe I had to start a conversation and start getting physical, just because I want it ("I am an alpha male that goes for (and gets) what he wants" type of idea) and that if she responded negative I needed to persist and try to plow through the tests or whatever. That idea made me more nervous/anxious up front about it.
Nowadays I have become to see it in such a way, that I’m also doing this for her(the ones that are interested in me), so to make it easier for women that are interested in me. And the reason I do it also, is to come in contact with the ones that are interested. I nowadays feel no need anymore (like from my pua days) to persist or try to change the minds, when encountering reactions that show (as I read it) she isn’t interested. Also I nowadays see, going up to woman that shows she isn’t interested in me, as a little mistake/mistjudgement I made in my initial calibration/idea of thinking I did see/notice she showed some signal(s) of interest and would like to get in conversation with me. But sometimes I have the feeling/thought that I can only understand and get to know for sure if my idea that I thought she showed some signale of first sight interest in me, is to do so by striking up a conversation with her.

Anyone thinks something, of that what I have come to now? Anyone can relate? Or have come to other “conclusions” or has other experiences?

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There is no individual doer of any action or deed. Yet deeds are done and actions happen.


Last edited by scarface on Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:38 pm 
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Location: Czech Republic
Oh I can relate. Sometimes I see the girl needs a "friend", so I make it easier for her to get one, if she wants...

I was at first kind of surprised, when I gave this chance to girls, who looked and behaved quite innocent and shy, and when we were playing around alone, boy I was surprised how they suddenly changed :lol:
And it seems it works the other way around too, I'm not usually attracted to girls how try to look experienced and sexy and whatever, since my experience was, that she was afraid to even touch me properly.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:18 pm 
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scarface wrote:
But sometimes I have the feeling/thought that I can only understand and get to know for sure if my idea that I thought she showed some signale of first sight interest in me, is to do so by striking up a conversation with her.
I relate to everything you said. Regarding the above:

Unlike in my PUA days; where I tried to stay in a conversation even if it didn't go so well or tried to pass her shit tests by nags or lowering her value. Now: if I start a conversation and she does not cooperate or act cold\bitchy- I just don't waste my time and leave her alone.

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 12:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:32 pm
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Location: Europe
Thank for the replies, Sniper & Fufe.

_________________
There is no individual doer of any action or deed. Yet deeds are done and actions happen.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 3:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:16 pm
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Beautiul !!

Pretty much explained indifference and/or lacking attachment to an outcome to a 'T'


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