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 Post subject: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:42 am 
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Hey guys,

I began my inner work journey roughly 2 years ago. I spent a lot of time just learning the mechanics and learning what to say etc. Unfortunately, I had a lot of trouble getting past the starting gate for a while. It wasn't until I realized that everything wasn't going to go as smoothly as I had planned after college that I really dove into inner work. I had the right beliefs, but I didn't have the "weight" (wait/patience) to match them.

My disposition towards inner work built from being stuck in same place I returned to when I found this forum. It's funny to me. Every long journey ends where it begins. It actually marked the start of a new journey, one I'm enjoying immensely.

Roughly two years ago, I started meditating on my own. I had some successes, but I was grasping for straws in the dark. It kind of takes a little help to get going and figure out what you're doing.

It takes more work figuring out how to approach yourself from a disposition of compassion and acceptance each and every day.

Fwiw, if I'm saying this^^^ then you know it's true. For some of the older members, you probably know how hard I am on myself. I learned that attitude from those who were hard on me. I thought I had to be hard on myself because failing wasn't an option. For my childhood, it never was. And that's ok.

You don't need a coach for learning to treat yourself with compassion, or maybe you do if you're me or like me. :lol:

Six months or four months into my journey, Dr.Awesome, a very old member of the community, made a post offering a month of free sessions for inner work.

I can emphatically and without a doubt say that his help is worth it. If you're more advanced in the realm of spirituality, emotional awareness, and acceptance then you might find some of his services lacking. Where he would shine for an advanced person is in helping you identify your center and integrating your balance into everyday life. He's awesome with this. :lol:

In our first month, Dr.Awesome helped me alter my relationship with my brother. Amazingly, I felt something I had only experienced one time before, the gap between experience and action (or reaction for me). :lol: I was literally grounded so strong in experience that I could feel as if time had stopped when interacting with my brother after our FIRST session. Anything below breathtaking couldn't describe my feelings for that first session.

In later sessions we covered everything from embarrassment, attachment, addiction, trust, doubt, the relationship with my mother etc. I can honestly say that most of my growth over the last year came from the weekly sessions that I have with him. Unfortunately, they are ending soon so he can move on other ventures. ;)

One of the biggest highlights of his efforts and failures was helping with cigarettes. For a month and a half, 6 sessions, we worked together on my addiction to cigarettes. Unfortunately, we had no success. This is admittedly a failure on both of our parts. I couldn't accept my fear of quitting. For me, for what was and is at stake for me, is the death of who I have become. :geek: It is an entire readjust to the world and the way I see it. It's a readjustment of the relationships I have and have had.

To his credit, he admitted that he had no experience with helping anyone with addictions. His main areas are self worth, self respect, and compassion, pretty much everything dealing with self love. He did take the time to research approaches from highly rated people in his field.

We made it to the point where I could find the issue in my body/nervous system and chased it over multiple sessions. I didn't make the leap to quit immediately because I couldn't place enough faith in myself after my last major failure. The fear and doubt was too strong.

I also think it might have been a mistake using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for the exercises, but I heavily qualify my statement saying that it was also a complete failure on my part.

We have left some areas partially and more so unexplored like my relationship with my mother. I caution that statement with a clarification that some of what has been left unexplored is my unease with exploring those areas. The first time we worked with the relationship between my mother and I, I was left angrier at her. The second time, there were many conflicted feelings. I imagine a few more sessions would help me reach a place of acceptance. There are more pressing issues that I want to spend the few sessions I have left with him on though.

I do think that Dr.Awesome makes judicious decisions when it comes to approaching issues. We didn't always use EFT. Sometimes we used simple body awareness, visualization, and at other times combinations of techniques. I clearly remember when he actually had me do literal "pushups" after an EFT session because my emotions were so strong (too work through my emotions). Unsurprisingly, my emotions intensified and then dissipated. We did this twice. In nearly every session, my dreams were affected (changed from the usual), and I clearly realized after that pushup session the root of a serious self worth issue.

The only way to describe the experience from the epiphany of my dreams from the first pushup session is otherworldly. I lucidly experienced my "spiritual" or emotional world for the first time. I saw the mechanics if you can even call it that (closest words I can use) of my inner demons or subconscious actors of myself. I realized them for the stupid ass jokesters they are and the way they want to just help you.

I also got to see how they're always trying to protect you from something.

I vividly remember walking on the banks of my subsconscious for the first time and experiencing a vast ocean (after a few of our early sessions). It was a deep peace and familiarity crossing the shoreline. I didn't actually ever expect to lucidly dream and consciously interact with subconscious pictures. In fairness, I still can't lucidly dream and it only happens after deep inner work or experiencing deep emotional awareness.

I've probably gone on too long in this review, but I felt it was right to say these things.

Dr.Awesome is a good teacher and also works with Flow83 and GPWalsh's team.

The only way I could detract from the help he's given me to make sure that you're hearing a balanced review is that we worked with EFT too much and possibly for too long. EFT is emotionally draining. It's an intense workout and sometimes you need to give yourself a break.

On the whole, he's judicious about approaches to problems though.

I hope you all enjoy reading.

Best,

Slim

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 9:22 am 
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Posts: 1579
Location: Laniakea Supercluster
(A coach is not there to 'fix' you,
he is there to remind you that you are the sun
and not the clouds) 8-)

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"When values are clear, decisions are easy." ---Dan Peña


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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 10:11 am 
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Yeah, it's phrased/framed the wrong way, but the sentiment is there. 8-)

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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 3:35 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:11 am
Posts: 728
Bravo.

BTW Stephen Jourdain, one of the most articulate and powerfully awake human beings I've ever listened to/read chain smoked til the end.

Also be aware that it is something of a cliche that the main goal someone wants to do inner work on is often one of the last things to see the biggest shifts, if it's deep and has a lot of stuff around it over years. Someone's biggest goal is money and all the stuff that comes up, their anxiety goes down, some relationships start improving, health, whatever, everything sort of doing the landscaping and groundwork needed to cultivate shift in that area. No need to see it as a failure if you still smoke, I can pretty much guarantee you that things took place inside of you during the process of working on the smoking that you may never be able to quantify or see a direct cause-effect relationship to have had some benefit. Basically as long as you are feeling stuff and in that zone where you are focused and really tuning into yourself, you're helping the cause, it's just often very subtle or follows a different path than our linear goal oriented mind likes. How many guys start at "show me what to say to get a girl to go out with me" and all of a sudden they are working with old childhood pain around their family as part of a connected web :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:18 pm 
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Yeah, it bothered me for a while that I couldn't make the leap, but I realized improvements with personal relationships and with women. Lower attachment, more meaningful interactions, feeling inner strength, not having problems saying no, more emotional control etc.

I'm going to circle back to it later on my own. The reason why I gave the review is that I didn't feel like it was time wasted. It was time spent on myself. I started learning to genuinely feel compassion for myself and am not hard on myself. I have some really embarrassing and painful moments in my past that I dragged around like dead weight.

It's kind of hilarious in retrospect. When you realize that you aren't those things but that shaped who you see yourself as and that you're a person who values yourself now. Self worth destroying events catalyzing your growth into self love. That's hilarious. :lol:

Btw, I didn't start the inner work to quit cigarettes. I started because I felt that I was moving backwards in life. I saw the patterns in my family. I saw my pain. I saw my family's pain. The cigarette detour was only to see if this stuff was working, which is probably why I didn't make the leap in spite of fear. I had a real attachment to prove that this stuff was the real deal.

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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:33 am
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Slim Titan wrote:
I started learning to genuinely feel compassion for myself and am not hard on myself.


I can say it is noticeable

Slim Titan wrote:
It's kind of hilarious in retrospect. When you realize that you aren't those things but that shaped who you see yourself as and that you're a person who values yourself now. Self worth destroying events catalyzing your growth into self love. That's hilarious. :lol:

Btw, I didn't start the inner work to quit cigarettes. I started because I felt that I was moving backwards in life. I saw the patterns in my family. I saw my pain. I saw my family's pain. The cigarette detour was only to see if this stuff was working, which is probably why I didn't make the leap in spite of fear. I had a real attachment to prove that this stuff was the real deal.


This is really cool too. It seems you have started doing really good work with yourself


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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:45 am 
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Genuinely brought a smile to my face Slim. Good stuff man, and excited for the road ahead.

From an outsider perspective, maybe continuing to smoke cigarettes is an opportunity for self-acceptance and self-understanding as well. You're not where you want to be, but that's OK, and doesn't mean you have to quit trying to be where you want to be.

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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:12 am 
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Definitely. I do have reservations about how much I will learn about myself from cigarettes because I've learned a lot. What's left to deal with for my smoking problem is just next level shit in body sensations.

Don't know if you care to know, but there's a point directly opposite I.E. ----> (to the right of my heart) where I get excruciating pain. Saying I've explored it is an understatement. It travels along the path of my esophagus when explored. At one point, I nearly even vomited from the experience of exploring it (probably the cathartic moment I needed like the moment I realized I was hooked after I vomited from smoking them). My throat always itches and scratches from it causing me to gag. I even get sensations and have breathing occur like smoking.

It's next level stuff man. Senseless formless. It's a deep void of pain, frustration, and addiction my body has. My mind is shifting, but my body is firmly rooted.

I'd definitely get to another level of being comfortable in my body by navigating this area. Understanding will be minimal unless the release is accompanied with a knowledge of how and why it got to this point. I even dislike talking with sterility, but I feel like I've gone as far as I can go with my current abilities on the issue.

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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:53 am 
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Slim Titan wrote:
Definitely. I do have reservations about how much I will learn about myself from cigarettes because I've learned a lot. What's left to deal with for my smoking problem is just next level shit in body sensations.

Don't know if you care to know, but there's a point directly opposite I.E. ----> (to the right of my heart) where I get excruciating pain. Saying I've explored it is an understatement. It travels along the path of my esophagus when explored. At one point, I nearly even vomited from the experience of exploring it (probably the cathartic moment I needed like the moment I realized I was hooked after I vomited from smoking them). My throat always itches and scratches from it causing me to gag. I even get sensations and have breathing occur like smoking.

It's next level stuff man. Senseless formless. It's a deep void of pain, frustration, and addiction my body has. My mind is shifting, but my body is firmly rooted.

I'd definitely get to another level of being comfortable in my body by navigating this area. Understanding will be minimal unless the release is accompanied with a knowledge of how and why it got to this point. I even dislike talking with sterility, but I feel like I've gone as far as I can go with my current abilities on the issue.


Definitely do care to know.

All I can say is keep on going. The places these things take you sometimes can't be grasped or planned by the mind, but it's beyond your mind so no surprise there. But it's the road that needs to be travelled if you want to shine love and acceptance on yourself, which benefits all other areas.

Don't throw out the possibility of your body becoming un-rooted in the future either, just keep your accepting attention on it in the present moment and watch it develop.

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 Post subject: Re: Review of Dr.Awesome
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:04 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:51 pm
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Location: Laniakea Supercluster
Aragorn wrote:

Don't throw out the possibility of your body becoming un-rooted in the future either, just keep your accepting attention on it in the present moment and watch it develop.


I'm not aware of 'my' body because I'm not it.
There is an awareness of the perceptions of all the senses
and sensations of the body.

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"When values are clear, decisions are easy." ---Dan Peña


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