Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:04 am 
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Morpheus edited wrote:
There's always outlets. MMA for example.

There was a TV series on Discovery called making the cut all about US miltary elite schools and filming a class going through the training. Theres a Sniper one where they literally take 3 hours to crawl in a gillie suit to make a shot.
Or do a 24 hour training session all out. No sleep. Or swim lengths of the pool, with arms and legs tied.

Manly stuff

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:52 pm 
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You sexist pig! ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:16 pm 
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Also interestly women cannot even apply for these positions.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:00 pm 
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Morpheus wrote:
They still exist within the military.
*Shakes head slowly, turns and walks away*

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:15 am 
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peregrinus wrote:
Morpheus wrote:
They still exist within the military.
*Shakes head slowly, turns and walks away*
You don't think so?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:18 am 
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peregrinus wrote:
A lot of good could be done by reintroducing them in my view.
Also the gathering of men, older with younger, to pass on wisdom, to just spend time together. There is so much to be gained by that.
I agree mate. the closest thing that seems to exist these days is sending 18 year olds overseas by themselves. 2 months in tropical Thailand isn't really that close to killing a lion with a spear...

I've been fortunate to be part of a few Men's groups and I've always found that sacred time devoted solely to clearing the shit out of the way and dealing with the core issues was great. There was always so much insight and wisdom passed around and I felt like I grew a lot in those years.

Do you guys have some kind of Men's group that you run within this forum?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:23 pm 
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LeighLG wrote:
Do you guys have some kind of Men's group that you run within this forum?
For some reason I was under the impression the forum was a Men's group.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:28 am 
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peregrinus wrote:
LeighLG wrote:
Do you guys have some kind of Men's group that you run within this forum?
For some reason I was under the impression the forum was a Men's group.
I guess it all comes down to interpretation but this isn't anything like the Men's groups I've been part of.

The kind of Men's Group that I was talking about is where you set aside time, every week / fortnight / month / 6 months to come together, work through practices to help keep you focussed and directed, discuss what's weighing on your mind, challenge each other to be more than you were before you entered the group, call each other on the shit your running, come up with personal practices to continue building and growing, and then depart ways.

It's not just a bunch of guys, hanging out, chatting about whatever's on their minds, it's a specifically built space where there's no bullshit, no mucking around, no jokes and no games. It's all about sharpening your axe so that when you go back to the real world, you're on task.

This forum is great but in comparison to the Men's Groups I've been part of, this is much more like a social club.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:55 am 
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Well...this 'social club' is about as close as most of these guys will get to interacting with like minded men on a somewhat regular basis...and no jokes? Life is too short to be that serious...matter of fact, one time when I wa...BOTTLE KIDS!! :shock:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:31 am 
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Don't get me wrong, this forum is awesome and a great stepping stone to help guys go deeper, but it's just not at the same level of depth and seriousness as the Men's Groups I've been part of.

The forum I run is very similar to this and there are a couple of groups of guys who've formed Men's Groups to help go deeper. I was just wondering if you guys had done the same.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:37 am 
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LeighLG wrote:
Don't get me wrong, this forum is awesome and a great stepping stone to help guys go deeper, but it's just not at the same level of depth and seriousness as the Men's Groups I've been part of.

The forum I run is very similar to this and there are a couple of groups of guys who've formed Men's Groups to help go deeper. I was just wondering if you guys had done the same.
Closest I've gotten is my cousin, who was my patient zero with my methods and mindset...we finish each others sentences regularly. We conference at least bi-weekly and keep each other in check. Can't speak for anyone else. :geek:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:43 am 
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Quote:
it's a specifically built space where there's no bullshit, no mucking around, no jokes and no games.
The fact one that acknowledge what you call, or could get to called on one's -->bullshit<-- is part of the growing, Accepting and coming into terms about "demons" or "our faults" is when we start to be free.
When we smell something is bad and we discover it's our own bullshit, then is when we discover that we are wrong.

Why no jokes?
Fucking life is a joke is full of ironies, laughable times, dramatic moments, sweet moments, bitter ones; a true friggin mess, and it's beautiful and wonderful as it is. Certainty and uncertainty? Don't you consider a group of man talking about ALL moments considered to be a joke in itself, specially the ones that in the moment we consider and feel "bitter or/and sad" when we revise them later we found them warmingly funny?

If you are talking about the posts in the lounge consider it as it is, a LOUNGE. It's like when you say hi to someone and speak trivialities, you know that person has a deep side you're just not interested in the moment to dig that far, and how awkard that would be like:

Hey hello, wassap! How you d... So what's the thing that you do with passion in your life, Oh and almost forgot...did you cry yesterday?

Everything that is done here serves a purpose. But then maybe not in your opinion.
And thats ok.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 6:41 am 
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Wow... This seems to have caused quite a stir! Interesting... I think I should clarify what I meant before this gets out of hand.

There was no offence intended with what I said. This forum seems like a great place and it definitely serves a purpose. I get why there are jokes and I understand why there is fun here. I was in no way criticising this place, it's objectives, or its values.

What I was simply pointing out is that IN MY EXPERIENCE, a men's group is a very different (not better or worse, just different) place to what you have set up here.

Like I said above, I run a forum that's very similar to what you have here and I actively encourage guys to form Men's groups because that kind of work is best done in person and in a dedicated space. Forums are great for general discussions but because of their nature (written conversations typed between multiple people in different countries over long periods of time) it's very difficult to have the powerful and challenging necessary to realyl dig down to the core.

And on the whole 'no jokes' thing... This is how the mens groups that I've been part of have been run. The time that we set aside every month to come together and deal with our shit is set aside specifically for the purpose of dealing with shit. We laugh at stupid shit but everything that's done in the group is dedicated to getting your shit handled. When the conversation drifts off track, the guy running it always brings it back on track to make sure everything stays on task.

I hope that's cleared it up and I haven't insulted anyone's mother / heritage / fundamental belief systems.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 7:05 am 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Closest I've gotten is my cousin, who was my patient zero with my methods and mindset...we finish each others sentences regularly. We conference at least bi-weekly and keep each other in check. Can't speak for anyone else. :geek:
That's pretty cool that you've got someone in your family you can work on this stuff with. My brothers and cousins are more concerned with finding new and different people to blame for thier life situation rather than getting shit handled. Since I've been coaching, I've met a few more guys who're on my level but still not enough.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 7:44 am 
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LeighLG wrote:
Wow... This seems to have caused quite a stir! Interesting... I think I should clarify what I meant before this gets out of hand.

There was no offence intended with what I said. This forum seems like a great place and it definitely serves a purpose. I get why there are jokes and I understand why there is fun here. I was in no way criticising this place, it's objectives, or its values.

What I was simply pointing out is that IN MY EXPERIENCE, a men's group is a very different (not better or worse, just different) place to what you have set up here.

Like I said above, I run a forum that's very similar to what you have here and I actively encourage guys to form Men's groups because that kind of work is best done in person and in a dedicated space. Forums are great for general discussions but because of their nature (written conversations typed between multiple people in different countries over long periods of time) it's very difficult to have the powerful and challenging necessary to realyl dig down to the core.

And on the whole 'no jokes' thing... This is how the mens groups that I've been part of have been run. The time that we set aside every month to come together and deal with our shit is set aside specifically for the purpose of dealing with shit. We laugh at stupid shit but everything that's done in the group is dedicated to getting your shit handled. When the conversation drifts off track, the guy running it always brings it back on track to make sure everything stays on task.

I hope that's cleared it up and I haven't insulted anyone's mother / heritage / fundamental belief systems.
I wish I have a group like that, guess I have to invent one myself. A hell lot of a work ahead.

I agree 100% with the forum limitation. I think this site is the closest thing I have to as far as likeminded guys, to what you've mentioned.
There's so much more you can learn absorb when done live and flesh... :D

No need for the last innocuous sarcastic comment :lol: ;)

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 9:44 am 
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All depends on the person, the guys that post all the time and add to it are the ones that get the most out of it.

It's up to people to keep their own focus, to me if they needed someone to keep them on track in the middle of group. It wouldn't matter because they wouldn't have the focus outside the meeting to use it anyways.

And yeah like Kidd said this is pretty much the closest I get to having a chance to converse with like minded people, pick their brain and then hopefully pass it on to someone else when they need it.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 6:54 pm 
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I have had a number in my locality over the years, for some bizarre reason they seem to grow every now and then around me.

Currently two neighbours (seperate ones) children, both in their late teens have found themselves spending time with me, not focussed, not directed.
One of them helped me dig my garden over at the weekend, he said he got far more out of that than years of talking to his dad.. Spent all day doing it, with periods of chat during breaks for drinks and food. Lots of quiet work time also, just doing something together. Over the last few months he has found the confidence to start addressing the issues that matter to him and more to the point openly discussing them, after identifying them.

-

Sometimes a more informal and less forced approach can work, some people need time and the situation to let their things out.
Sometimes they need to see the path others are following to see where they could make changes in theirs.

Some just prefer a formal structure, I am not one of them.

--

there have been Skype conversations going on and there are a lot of PM's flying around that are not publically seen.

If people choose to go in deeper/harder then they can do, it is up to them.. Some do, some do not.

There have also been some quite deep and open conversations on here, it tends to go in waves, ebb and flow as things come up.

-

Regarding your list:
work through practices to help keep you focussed and directed Check
discuss what's weighing on your mind Check
challenge each other to be more than you were before you entered the group Check
call each other on the shit your running Check
come up with personal practices to continue building and growing Check
and then depart ways. Check

I see this as a mix of the two parts you portray, people can get from it what they need at the time.
Sometimes serious, sometimes blowing off steam.

Sometimes humour can make them take a step back and look at things objectively, when they have been too close into it..

There is also the point that most humour is bourne of the truth that is not spoken, there can be a lot of wisdom in humour.. Also the way people express themselves in humour tells others a lot about their mindset if they are listening and can point to blocks they have.

--

A lot of users I could point to, for examples... One that sticks in my mind was StephenP (if i remember correctly) - he seemed to go quite deep for a while, had to backoff, went for a wander and then returned when the time was right, much changed.
From memory we got very hard on him and he appreciated it, as I say, different people, different needs.

--

All good points.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 7:08 pm 
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good post Grinus,

I think that people need advise & Space (I wonder where I picked that up ;) ) and this place provides both: advise and space.

BTW
Look outside your window, you see that track?

[ img ]


that's my stuff, I forgot to tell you I'm moving in with you...

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 7:06 am 
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It has been a long time since I have posted on here and 'Grinus hit it right on (surprise right? ;) ) People need different things, different approaches. When I first came on to this forum I was fresh out of a relationship, I was in pathetic place, then I read so many posts on here, spent months of reading and digging deep because I wanted to be a better MAN. I tried things, I thought I was making progress but at the end, I wasn't. It was superficial. It was what I was TRYING to project, what I was TRYING to believe, what I was TRYING to be, but it hadn't sunk in (and still hasn't fully). I'm one of those types where I needed to just sit back and keep reading and keep trying, rather than keep posting about my screw ups. I already knew I screwed up, the things I needed to identify was why the repeats, and the answers are all here. So, although I have not been an active "poster" here, this forum does help people. I understand that "gatherings" and such could be beneficial, but this forum, thanks to everyone who contributes can change lives, and I for one am quite happy with it. I still am no where near where I need to be or want to be. But I know I am on the right track thanks to this forum.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:20 pm 
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Quote:
A lot of users I could point to, for examples... One that sticks in my mind was StephenP (if i remember correctly) - he seemed to go quite deep for a while, had to backoff, went for a wander and then returned when the time was right, much changed.
From memory we got very hard on him and he appreciated it, as I say, different people, different needs.
This is true, I'll have to find the (long) thread but they took me through the ringer, were not gentle just gave it straight. My reality was completely ripped apart. Anger, pain (mental), sadness, confusion. I had to take a break and with those seeds planted, over this time realized they were right.

This is my mens group, and the only one available to me as far as I know.


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